counterfeit

that similar weather fell upon again, and it really made no sense that i did not run for the remote control to switch the jesus-ly air cond on... well, the air-cond was the savious of mankind, thx to XXX for inventing it...

then all i did today was waking up at 1pm.. coz having some dozens of beers yesterday night with all my crazy-going cousins... somehow the dose was too much and made me dizzy all the way while in the arm of Morpheus... i really want to sleep... alcohol's killing with that superstitious effect that teens often do not believe.

then i woke up suddenly, and the first thing I saw was no more than the stupid world map hanging askew on the white ordinary wall... then i got real moodless.. and even more to the extent that SOMEONE sent me a sms like a morning (well, in that case, afternoon) call, *gor, are you okay a??*
and ooo... i was so touched, then in that interval of seconds when she replied... i got real fascinated with her extraodinary comprehensive feels on me.. *gor, someone said u're real BLOODY SCARY when u get serious... (still wan laugh) HAHAAHA (somemore tend to disobey the theory of laughter)..! ouch, that pierced a lil bit... haha. fine and that was me, that IS me.

well, i normally dont haunt people's life and their mental vision toward me.. but amongst people who know me well, they know my seriousness and BLOODY-SCARINESS could be something real counterfeiting.. coz ya noe.. i aint not that serious.. i am quite-

tender.

supposedly...

titanic will break 1 day..
exam will end 1 day..
for whatever's gonna fall upon,
we sure are gonna going to get over it,
1 day, u see..

weekend let me hug u.. love u so much, thx for existing ^^

it cannot be

like somehow it is stated in almost ALL physics reference books, we see exercises and topical exercises and SPM formatted exercises and chapter review exercises and all bunches of bili-bala exercises all reflected to our eyes.
that instant we all entered the class, brought about two senses(moods):
(1) seik-bao-fan-mou-ye-zou (do nothing after eating full)
(2) post-EL (literature in english) i.e. fatigue in hands, mind, and all sensory organs...

then the scientific paper befell on every tiny little beings of us, on the desks...
physics..
and we opened the papers...
mentally begging for formulae sheet...
but much to our disappointment, we saw another flash of light that brought hope to us...
but all but, it was no more than an illusion, much vague than we'd imagined..
but all, and but, that seemed easy,

and as it progressed all got frustrated, coz all the questions were like so confusing that they typically asked silly questions about theories..
and fine.
tomorrow's gonna be a long day.. and my blog, i shall let it go for quite a while.
p/s: nothing.

magic will do

exams started,
exams started,
i have to look at books,
read and understand every damn things inside,
and mesmerised all the teachers' face that are so fierce waiting for my results to break,
moreover, i can't find any place to hide,
not a shoulder seems reliable now, since then,
let me get over it, and as soon as holiday comes to me,
and so i can get rid of all those UGHing things in life, i need the camp now, zatch kawan..

with all circumstances and all the feeling i've been having right now, right then, i need someone who casts magic like eating peanuts..
i know what only if, if what happens, then magic shall do the job for me,
please, i beg u
i didn't beg anyone before, just u.

it doesn't sound that convincing, isn't that, but u have to take it, for once.
look at the sky, doesn't it--
*downpour*
sigh, sigh, sigh, *yawn*.

too much.

death is too much to bear.
but right at the turning point, i just realized on middle fall of yesteryear,
life, is a whole lot more to bear.
life, a resemblance of hardship, a resemblance of wear & tear, a resemblance of heartbeats,
life, symbolizes a series of,
love, love, love,
in types that are undefined,

undefined, it's really too much.

but if one moment, one freezing moment, one junction that is standstill upon, two options were to be given, and an answer was to be retrieved back at five seconds, options:
between life, and
death

death, would be a relief, a relief of oneself, having had been juxtaposed in life,
a miserable condition as right to be, having had been
an immortal,
perhaps time's too long to be said an even number to befall,
perhaps life's somehow too uneven,
as people, all life are coherent, and the coherence would not be digested, at one's hungry stomach,
being nauseated in every struggling way they could've been,
STOP.
sometimes suffer is better than enjoying life,
why, what, who, when -- life's bundled by questions,
questions that shouldn't have found exit from our mouth.

*************************************************************************************

life's too long, and people wonder why,
eve and adam created this, this mess
a big, big mess that has nothing, nothing ever to be reversed,
an irreversible life, was too much to bear with.

The Miss Yap Empire.

SHE, definitely conquers us with numbers, with equations, with all her whatever-it-is-yet-it-will-one-hundred-percent-involve-her-addmathsthinkingtype-sarcastically-drastically-enthusiastically-unexpectedly-mind, with all her unbelievable, fantastic, fabulous thought that one could never explain the reasons within, she did, and does, conquer us with massive billion tonnes of saliva spitting, laughter roaring, hyperventilation, hysterical atmosphere being caused, angina pectoris, hyperglaecemia, shock, illness of pressing the abdomen because that level of laughing hurts a lot, tables shaking much severely than szechuan earthquake, behind-the-scene brokeback film, books throwing around scattering in thin air like star wars, pupils begin slapping each other's jaw like getting chronic diseases, FAT guys jumping and stomping the ground as hard as over the possibility and strength like there are ghosts or apparitions emerging from the tiles, directors shouting CUT CUT CUT and spit their director-style saliva towards the pre-post-best-actress-queen Miss Yap, and hooray, all dead.

DEAD of laughing, dead of screaming, till thyroid gland bursts into pieces, till brain scatters all over the floor with brain fluid remaining, bubbling creepily.

And she said, at the very first moment, throughout the atmosphere that, indeed, bored US severely, something flew in. And that boreness is being abracadabraed into what we'd defined as 'hysterics'.

Miss Yap: you know guys, I understand that this chapter (trigonometric function) is hard and difficult, but, perhaps if you guys make a little note.

And dramatic here -- she began with some slight motion here...
she acted like an INNOCENT student, holding an invisible but visible in her imaginary PAPER, i mean small square one, in her THOUGHT, she began piling and folding it in her INVISIBLE pocket on her old-fashioned but tender-looking dress..

and here's the part that the first roar of laughter, mixing jovial tears and tonnes, maybe, of saliva broke:
"you see you see, if you have this tiny little piece of add maths note, and if you wrote down those formulas in this chapter, when eating, you can read..."
*posing an eating pose while posing another perspective angle of revising wholeheartedly*

"not only that~ you see you see, when sleeping hor... *slow motion* no... no.. i mean, before sleeping hor~ you can read also..."
*tilt her head upwards and pretending AS IF she were looking at the paper (studying), and another un-busy hand began holding another wave of INVISIBLE torchlight and began flashing it towards the paper and acting AS IF the surrounding was just as dark as when she slept*

"yalo.. yalo.. emmm.. *nodded seriously with unreadable expression* then hor~ in bas sekolah that time, you can read also..."
*holding the real irritating paper AGAIN and read, another free hand holding the hanging handle to steady herself IN A BUS*

"and hor~ when puan gan scold you that time (the so very funniest part is here) you can read also mah~"
*holding the paper again(!) and hide it under her waist as if pn. gan were really scolding her and she pretended to ignore the scolding and rather revise the notes*

"yala yala... then hor~ (here is the extremely most funniest part) you can show off ma... neh, like this like this, when a girl sits beside you......"
HAHAHA!! *hiding the paper in the pocket, though both not existing, showing it to a non-existing 'girl' right at her left side and smirk like a clown, just finished folding a dog balloon to a child, *squeaks*.

maybe if you do not know, please come to my school's staff room and search for this distinguished queen actress... ms. yap, the beyond godlike one.
any enquiries, please ask Lai Hao Cherng from 5C or anybody you had seen running out of 5C class, screaming and shouting like being nauseated and like a hysteria patient, stomping the ground like an elephant who was extremely desperate of BANANAS.

nothing else

with every single second ticks by, i begin to lock the shockness into me..
and with every hour ticks by, i am being nauseated in every way i don't used to be...
and with every day passes by i realise that i am going to sit down and doodle the papers unevenly,
and with the whole new month comes by i know that it's going to fulfill my will --

my will, to excel? to score? to...
to..
ugh.

at least 12 As will do.
yes, hao cherng,
12 As.. in ur dream, maybe..
and another side of me summons upon the confidence, sunken confidence which was hardly being found anymore within me.
there were weeks to come , months to fall back till
SPM

and i wonder if I could, or could not, or would not
score...

nothing else being concerned right now, except we-know-them: add maths, a whole lot shitS of physics and bioloGIES and past-education (history), and ugh. ugh. ugh.
all about the future, set right down the exams coming, approaching, haunting... haunting, biting,
cut-- anymore words?

I could hardly find--
I could hardly being NOT restless...
for the exams to come, for the future unsteadily held.. upon,
like an angel will fly,
but wings broken because she hit a branch,
angel could die, too, too... too.................. ..