The year's ending soon.
Part of it's worth fantasizing.
Hell knows what's touching our senses.
Hope I would come to meet someone who could foresee the future,
like unfolding pages in novel in advance.
When the future, will, be bright and nice,
it is a sin to tell out before it comes to realization.
While the future's going to be devastating,
it is a sin to not tell out even though,
I wonder, anyone could foresee that.
The earth's becoming hotter, gradually,
there, hardly is a place to breath,
even air with dusts swarmed aghast,
even breeze with dim sunlight hung askance, still as ever,
you and I stood for living necessities evaporated like,
been-hopeful, current-realized mirage.
Hopes slowly became a fragile silhouette.
There's no vacancy for human beings, no lungs for storing air.
When years and years embellished, decades to come,
between them are nothing,
but a blank plot,
an empty story of hollow intervals.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Senses
Sandra says lifeless-
it gets pretty empty sometimes.
Then, always followed by cold, cold.
Out of the equator now, snows over the north, blaze over the south.
Moderate it remains here.
Visions become blur at times;
Sounds become... inaudible.
Taste loses its stimulation,
Attempts become more feeble than I could figure out.
Breeze out there howling for vacant oddities.
With no inkling in advance, nightfalls are reliefs.
The next day, off it goes the memories and senses,
fluorescence goes dim, dimmer,
Ultimately, vanishes.
it gets pretty empty sometimes.
Then, always followed by cold, cold.
Out of the equator now, snows over the north, blaze over the south.
Moderate it remains here.
Visions become blur at times;
Sounds become... inaudible.
Taste loses its stimulation,
Attempts become more feeble than I could figure out.
Breeze out there howling for vacant oddities.
With no inkling in advance, nightfalls are reliefs.
The next day, off it goes the memories and senses,
fluorescence goes dim, dimmer,
Ultimately, vanishes.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Frequency
Different beings on earth depends on their very own frequency.
We vary, differ.
On different track.
Each of us.
There light glows, probably, where light comes, it relies.
Something aren't right, most probably.
There is a frequency,
particularly, you and I.
We vary, differ.
On different track.
Each of us.
There light glows, probably, where light comes, it relies.
Something aren't right, most probably.
There is a frequency,
particularly, you and I.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Black Future
.2081.
A story derived from Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.'s short story!!
Harrison Bergeron...
*intro*
Like Ray Bradbury's story, Harrison Bergeron takes place in the future, and in a domestic setting. New technology is having an important impact on people's lives. The story is told clearly and with a degree of detachment. But Vonnegut's story explores a different social theme: the idea of what it might mean to make sure that all people were equal. Vonnegut treats the subject with irony and a darkly humourous touch, but the story suggests some serious social questions -- about the place of the media in our lives and our freedom to act as individuals.
Kurt Vonnegut is an American writer, born in 1922, who often uses features of the science fiction genre in his novels and short stories. Harrison Bergeron is from a collection of Vonnegut's short stories called Welcome to the Monkey House, which was published in 1968.
x x x
The year was 2081, and everybody was finally equal.They weren't only equal before God and the law. They were equal every which way. Nobody was smarter than anybody else. Nobody was better looking than anybody else. Nobody was stronger or quicker than anybody else. All this equality was due to the 211th, 212th, and 213th Amendments to the Constitution and to the unceasing vigilance of agents of the United States Handicapper General.
...... (picked from: HARRISON BERGERON, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Literature In English SPM 6th Cycle) ......
Frankly I'm really looking forward to watching this video as soon as it is on the theatre box office. A whole new scientifically ironic video that is surely a uniquely worth-fascinating blockbuster at time.
Wake Up Moron.
Always, the opposite gender seems exactly resembling an iced hot cocoa.
Often that we give the judgment towards him, or her, we've have wrong impressions.
The initial stage looks beautiful. It is because you tend not to have flipped the seal of ice toppings.
Of course it tickles your appetite, running down your nerve, it's the so called 'feel' one feels.
For this holy second, thanks to cupids, you feel super-delightful assaulting whole of you.
Rejoicing the plenty of time till some of the ice slowly melt.
Part of what is called mundane reality gradually reveal themselves to your eyes.
You may look astonished in utter bewilderment, or you might as well feel relieved, for it suits what you have been guessing all through since the start of it; or, most probably, your guilt is relieved, because you are as mundane as everybody, as human as everyone else does. You no longer love the contrary anymore, and to your relief, it is just exactly the Tweedledee for the another rotting half.
Now you finished the drink you've been looking for. Just a shallow oasis you'd met.
Merely, you enjoy the contents, but, bear in mind, it is no way in god's name you'd really fascinate the aftermath, leaving only worries, anxiety.
Girl, he loves you for you supply him real love where other girls would not even when paid for.
Boy, she loves you for you pose a shelter to her, and it is ... temporary.
Wake up.
Often that we give the judgment towards him, or her, we've have wrong impressions.
The initial stage looks beautiful. It is because you tend not to have flipped the seal of ice toppings.
Of course it tickles your appetite, running down your nerve, it's the so called 'feel' one feels.
For this holy second, thanks to cupids, you feel super-delightful assaulting whole of you.
Rejoicing the plenty of time till some of the ice slowly melt.
Part of what is called mundane reality gradually reveal themselves to your eyes.
You may look astonished in utter bewilderment, or you might as well feel relieved, for it suits what you have been guessing all through since the start of it; or, most probably, your guilt is relieved, because you are as mundane as everybody, as human as everyone else does. You no longer love the contrary anymore, and to your relief, it is just exactly the Tweedledee for the another rotting half.
Now you finished the drink you've been looking for. Just a shallow oasis you'd met.
Merely, you enjoy the contents, but, bear in mind, it is no way in god's name you'd really fascinate the aftermath, leaving only worries, anxiety.
Girl, he loves you for you supply him real love where other girls would not even when paid for.
Boy, she loves you for you pose a shelter to her, and it is ... temporary.
Wake up.
Friday, October 16, 2009
The Ignorant Time ---- Killer
IT WAS INDEED A VERY DEEP GRUDGE TO WATCH THE HUNTERS FIRE ON THE BEAR. It crawled and hardly let out a sarcastic moan which was resonant along the slightest movement of the dense and freezing air around. And that was finally renescence -- a deadly blur view of the corpse which was then evaporated along with its soul that has been encroached on.
My eyes closed. The sense touched me again. The familiar but unfathomable magical abracadabra flushed into my vision. As the very essence of this particular grief-stricken memory came into emergence and started enthusing in its stark contents, I was finally diving into my abyss of hallucination.
It nearly formed half a decade since what happened that winter in Hokkaido. With all my old buddies, a trip to this angelic place was almost tantamount to wandering in the cradle of the beauty of Oceania. We booked a resort for two weeks of group living amidst the enormous and gorgeous valley profoundly surrounded by thick, white forests. From a certain distance, the chimney of the little resort and the soot that paced vertically up into the air with a regular rhythm can already be seen.
This winter was just perfect for vacation. We played poker all night and ate steamboat on that teeny-weeny wooden table that was crafted neatly and beautifully. Despite the hardly describable sum of money needed for the expense of eating and living and footing the bill, it was rather worthwhile to stay here enjoying the ultimate breeze of coolness and relief.
Snowboarding was the chief game that played the crucial role as to quench our boredom. Cold, it was snowing out there. The sky darkened by and by yet we insisted on boarding. It was too difficult to suppress the thirst and need to accelerate on the plain white snow ahead of us. We couldn't even be patient to just glance at the plan view of the map for one or two seconds -- the ice boards, now having five pairs of ravenous feet securely fit and tied along with, were the only radars applicable.
It started then. The freezing snow was like ice-made daggers that combated with my inner defense against the abjectly frosty surrounding. Soon an epiphany twinkled and eventually in hurry nascence, emerged within my logic sense of thinking. I didn't want to get defeated in this race with all these natural facilities presented right in front of me. Nastily, I freed myself and took some strength, with that I rotated and felt as if the ground revolved beneath my nearly unstable figure -- a perfect fifty-degree slant towards my left, still speeding. Cool, thought myself quite aggressively, might as well duh -- rendezvous with them all after personal rest yeah. I'm going to have a long rest down there with this velocity driving me along this deserted hillside that looked much steeper, much advantageous for my need for haste.
I imagined rocketing downhill like lasers now. The snow never had stopped nor had it receded somehow, but it soon condensed into more watery particles showering the entire field, which was just flipping from my view pages by pages. I didn't have an inkling of how much on hell the temperature now was, but it was bitingly cold, as though the snow and ice simply penetrated my thick woven jacket and deeply rested themselves in my blood vessels through one superficial layer and another...
The snow was incredibly heavy now. Never on earth had I met an outrageous climate like this. My front view, in distorted version now, still shortened hastily feet by feet. I never had realized until the fierce snow surprisingly receded and eventually stopped later all of a sudden. I tilted my dizzy skull and gazed on top of me, and through the misty pane of my goggles, in nascent amusement I noted an indistinct mosaic pattern of the forest canopy. I was in the forest now.
An abrupt flush of anxiety bubbled in my train of thoughts, ungraciously jerking my mind forth and back. I stopped boarding and halted in the midst of nowhere. Subconscious commanded me to tie the snowboard onto the back of my frozen spine. I maneuvered every item on me and adjusted them into correct positions, I felt desperate to peering into what would come into my view next. It was later then I noticed the front part of my snowboard posed a few clear linings of cracks. Perhaps it was the forest floor that exerted a force against it as I opposed the friction before I woke to my unseemly visit. I paced slowly and carefully to stabilize my figure as the snow was too thick along the unknown path I took in deep hesitancy. It was hapless being here. The snow, flakes now, whispered something faint I couldn't possibly comprehend.
Disheartening, I held to a tree trunk for support. I was too fed up to continue pacing into nowhere within the still thickening mist. It occurred to me to insert my palms into the two side pockets at the bottom part of my jacket. Fate, I imagined being toyed, being a laughing stock by he who was named sarcasm, would I simply just die in this deadly maze which I hardly had the due denial saying that me myself being miserable here wasn't a root of my filthy fault? Options were clear, and I chose diving into this hazard; I was the one who did the choice.
Still managed to breath, nay, gasp in bewilderment and astonishment; I pulled my hood further down to my nose level. I questioned my faith, would I just have the slightest fuel in me as to really get me out of this nightmare? The thought echoed around, still a blank thing -- nothing really did return.
Being left stranded alone, confined in this invisible cul-de-sac, I couldn't help searching for God's words -- please, prognosticate for me for only this once.
No reply, still.
I slowly resigned to kneeling down by halves. Now the air I exhaled against the windy atmosphere was unexpectedly renewed by a whole new, strange and odd scent. It was an illusion, I thought convincingly. Half a loaf is better than no bread, a stupid philosophy which I was compelled to follow now pulled my feet forward. I held out my right hand which balled into a frozen fist now and shook vigorously towards where the scent might have originated. As soon as that scent befell onto me as a sense too faint and dim, an owl appeared into view, taking me by astonishing surprise; it shrieked so loud that it made me halted.
And now my sixth sense magnetized my vision downwards to look at my feet, which now scrambled into a hidden cross under the sponge of thick snow. It startled me. At instant, I lost my entire balance and stumbled backwards. I barely had sufficient consciousness to realize that it was a tiny hill behind me and as these images shot into my shocked and bewildered complexion just in time, I was rolling and tripping along the gradient of the hill with tiny stones and frosted snowflakes ramming to and fro around me. Still in rough and hasty motion, I instantly dozed off into deep unconsciousness.
A mixed variety of hallucinations that could hardly be caught into sense seemed like nonsensical cries and bombardments circling my mind. Darkness and fear shouted all around me in anguish and slowly burned my nerves into dried, contorted ashes. Throughout this catastrophe contented with grief and fright, all I could do was to stay calm in virtual darkness.
A small and tiny force pressed on me. The sense was real and unreal at the same time. But slowly that object now generated a little heat around my arms and feet. I couldn't open my eyes, but it was indeed comfortable. It was hard to relinquish the temporary relief now to the mundane reality out there.
The heat expanded and it convinced me to open my lethargic eyes. The distorted view slowly revealed to me and it was first unbelievable. In front of me -- a huge gray bear who posed almost nil offensiveness, laid my head onto its bare and furry chest. Aghast, I thought of escaping, but my feet were entangled to the ground, and it was surprisingly comfortable and the warmth really did shelter my nauseated awareness. Most of all, I felt safe. It slept, too -- with a human, who was so weak and vulnerable that presented to him as no more than an easy prey which, normally, it should have simply taken for granted. It was too strange, too odd to feel even the slightest sense of comfort and relief within its mighty chest. A strange thing, I thought in utter stupefaction.
I fixed my eyes on its complexion -- relaxed, peaceful, harmonious, etc. etc. more words to describing that. In wonder of amusement I discerned the situation whether it was real or totally phony that was merely a phantasy, a gift, a consolation right at the threshold of the entrance of heaven, a soothing sanctuary built solely for me. But this tendency of discretion in me was paralyzed and overwhelmed by the comfort I did truly feel now. It felt much warmer, and livelier, much more hopeful than I could have imagined. I slowly closed my tiring eyes -- I prayed for a miracle, a wonder that will appear in front of me after I reopened these eyes. It only seemed impossible, but at least, still hopeful -- hope, the last thing I shall lose my grip of.
Eventually I reopened my eyes. At that split of a second, what came into my auditory sense was a cocking sound of a familiar rifle too vivid against my awaking response. Over-audible, I begged something would stop that. Time always ignore the rules, cried an annoying repetition within me, and bullet is just as rapid as that... The cocking sound never had forsaken evolving into explosion before the fragile seconds might at least suffice my nerves' reaction to explain -- to explain everything -- it wasn't harming me, muttered the inordinate craze now quaking inside me, it sheltered -- hopeless, totally hopeless, was the message on the frontier straight after the bloody murder was done. Full stop, I minded. It all ended right after one second and the poor creature's mourning and struggling and hypertension and roaring and gasping and wobbling relatively terminated.
I drifted in and out of my range of belief. I didn't want to choose to believe. All of it was a dirty concoction of the dark blood, still flushing out from the giant's skull, and the inexorably flooding adrenaline inside me.
The two hunters brought me back to the resort.
The untold memory never succeeded to wipe itself off from my still disoriented mind. Never had I confided it to anybody else. Alas, I didn't want to restraint myself within this terrible experience of agony and woe.
Time always ignore the rules, thought myself in confounded retrospect, and innocents are who this hateful culprit victimized, always.
I didn't want it to succumb to death, to die, merely because of me.
Authored by H.C.Lai
~2009.9.3~
My eyes closed. The sense touched me again. The familiar but unfathomable magical abracadabra flushed into my vision. As the very essence of this particular grief-stricken memory came into emergence and started enthusing in its stark contents, I was finally diving into my abyss of hallucination.
It nearly formed half a decade since what happened that winter in Hokkaido. With all my old buddies, a trip to this angelic place was almost tantamount to wandering in the cradle of the beauty of Oceania. We booked a resort for two weeks of group living amidst the enormous and gorgeous valley profoundly surrounded by thick, white forests. From a certain distance, the chimney of the little resort and the soot that paced vertically up into the air with a regular rhythm can already be seen.
This winter was just perfect for vacation. We played poker all night and ate steamboat on that teeny-weeny wooden table that was crafted neatly and beautifully. Despite the hardly describable sum of money needed for the expense of eating and living and footing the bill, it was rather worthwhile to stay here enjoying the ultimate breeze of coolness and relief.
Snowboarding was the chief game that played the crucial role as to quench our boredom. Cold, it was snowing out there. The sky darkened by and by yet we insisted on boarding. It was too difficult to suppress the thirst and need to accelerate on the plain white snow ahead of us. We couldn't even be patient to just glance at the plan view of the map for one or two seconds -- the ice boards, now having five pairs of ravenous feet securely fit and tied along with, were the only radars applicable.
It started then. The freezing snow was like ice-made daggers that combated with my inner defense against the abjectly frosty surrounding. Soon an epiphany twinkled and eventually in hurry nascence, emerged within my logic sense of thinking. I didn't want to get defeated in this race with all these natural facilities presented right in front of me. Nastily, I freed myself and took some strength, with that I rotated and felt as if the ground revolved beneath my nearly unstable figure -- a perfect fifty-degree slant towards my left, still speeding. Cool, thought myself quite aggressively, might as well duh -- rendezvous with them all after personal rest yeah. I'm going to have a long rest down there with this velocity driving me along this deserted hillside that looked much steeper, much advantageous for my need for haste.
I imagined rocketing downhill like lasers now. The snow never had stopped nor had it receded somehow, but it soon condensed into more watery particles showering the entire field, which was just flipping from my view pages by pages. I didn't have an inkling of how much on hell the temperature now was, but it was bitingly cold, as though the snow and ice simply penetrated my thick woven jacket and deeply rested themselves in my blood vessels through one superficial layer and another...
The snow was incredibly heavy now. Never on earth had I met an outrageous climate like this. My front view, in distorted version now, still shortened hastily feet by feet. I never had realized until the fierce snow surprisingly receded and eventually stopped later all of a sudden. I tilted my dizzy skull and gazed on top of me, and through the misty pane of my goggles, in nascent amusement I noted an indistinct mosaic pattern of the forest canopy. I was in the forest now.
An abrupt flush of anxiety bubbled in my train of thoughts, ungraciously jerking my mind forth and back. I stopped boarding and halted in the midst of nowhere. Subconscious commanded me to tie the snowboard onto the back of my frozen spine. I maneuvered every item on me and adjusted them into correct positions, I felt desperate to peering into what would come into my view next. It was later then I noticed the front part of my snowboard posed a few clear linings of cracks. Perhaps it was the forest floor that exerted a force against it as I opposed the friction before I woke to my unseemly visit. I paced slowly and carefully to stabilize my figure as the snow was too thick along the unknown path I took in deep hesitancy. It was hapless being here. The snow, flakes now, whispered something faint I couldn't possibly comprehend.
Disheartening, I held to a tree trunk for support. I was too fed up to continue pacing into nowhere within the still thickening mist. It occurred to me to insert my palms into the two side pockets at the bottom part of my jacket. Fate, I imagined being toyed, being a laughing stock by he who was named sarcasm, would I simply just die in this deadly maze which I hardly had the due denial saying that me myself being miserable here wasn't a root of my filthy fault? Options were clear, and I chose diving into this hazard; I was the one who did the choice.
Still managed to breath, nay, gasp in bewilderment and astonishment; I pulled my hood further down to my nose level. I questioned my faith, would I just have the slightest fuel in me as to really get me out of this nightmare? The thought echoed around, still a blank thing -- nothing really did return.
Being left stranded alone, confined in this invisible cul-de-sac, I couldn't help searching for God's words -- please, prognosticate for me for only this once.
No reply, still.
I slowly resigned to kneeling down by halves. Now the air I exhaled against the windy atmosphere was unexpectedly renewed by a whole new, strange and odd scent. It was an illusion, I thought convincingly. Half a loaf is better than no bread, a stupid philosophy which I was compelled to follow now pulled my feet forward. I held out my right hand which balled into a frozen fist now and shook vigorously towards where the scent might have originated. As soon as that scent befell onto me as a sense too faint and dim, an owl appeared into view, taking me by astonishing surprise; it shrieked so loud that it made me halted.
And now my sixth sense magnetized my vision downwards to look at my feet, which now scrambled into a hidden cross under the sponge of thick snow. It startled me. At instant, I lost my entire balance and stumbled backwards. I barely had sufficient consciousness to realize that it was a tiny hill behind me and as these images shot into my shocked and bewildered complexion just in time, I was rolling and tripping along the gradient of the hill with tiny stones and frosted snowflakes ramming to and fro around me. Still in rough and hasty motion, I instantly dozed off into deep unconsciousness.
A mixed variety of hallucinations that could hardly be caught into sense seemed like nonsensical cries and bombardments circling my mind. Darkness and fear shouted all around me in anguish and slowly burned my nerves into dried, contorted ashes. Throughout this catastrophe contented with grief and fright, all I could do was to stay calm in virtual darkness.
A small and tiny force pressed on me. The sense was real and unreal at the same time. But slowly that object now generated a little heat around my arms and feet. I couldn't open my eyes, but it was indeed comfortable. It was hard to relinquish the temporary relief now to the mundane reality out there.
The heat expanded and it convinced me to open my lethargic eyes. The distorted view slowly revealed to me and it was first unbelievable. In front of me -- a huge gray bear who posed almost nil offensiveness, laid my head onto its bare and furry chest. Aghast, I thought of escaping, but my feet were entangled to the ground, and it was surprisingly comfortable and the warmth really did shelter my nauseated awareness. Most of all, I felt safe. It slept, too -- with a human, who was so weak and vulnerable that presented to him as no more than an easy prey which, normally, it should have simply taken for granted. It was too strange, too odd to feel even the slightest sense of comfort and relief within its mighty chest. A strange thing, I thought in utter stupefaction.
I fixed my eyes on its complexion -- relaxed, peaceful, harmonious, etc. etc. more words to describing that. In wonder of amusement I discerned the situation whether it was real or totally phony that was merely a phantasy, a gift, a consolation right at the threshold of the entrance of heaven, a soothing sanctuary built solely for me. But this tendency of discretion in me was paralyzed and overwhelmed by the comfort I did truly feel now. It felt much warmer, and livelier, much more hopeful than I could have imagined. I slowly closed my tiring eyes -- I prayed for a miracle, a wonder that will appear in front of me after I reopened these eyes. It only seemed impossible, but at least, still hopeful -- hope, the last thing I shall lose my grip of.
Eventually I reopened my eyes. At that split of a second, what came into my auditory sense was a cocking sound of a familiar rifle too vivid against my awaking response. Over-audible, I begged something would stop that. Time always ignore the rules, cried an annoying repetition within me, and bullet is just as rapid as that... The cocking sound never had forsaken evolving into explosion before the fragile seconds might at least suffice my nerves' reaction to explain -- to explain everything -- it wasn't harming me, muttered the inordinate craze now quaking inside me, it sheltered -- hopeless, totally hopeless, was the message on the frontier straight after the bloody murder was done. Full stop, I minded. It all ended right after one second and the poor creature's mourning and struggling and hypertension and roaring and gasping and wobbling relatively terminated.
I drifted in and out of my range of belief. I didn't want to choose to believe. All of it was a dirty concoction of the dark blood, still flushing out from the giant's skull, and the inexorably flooding adrenaline inside me.
The two hunters brought me back to the resort.
The untold memory never succeeded to wipe itself off from my still disoriented mind. Never had I confided it to anybody else. Alas, I didn't want to restraint myself within this terrible experience of agony and woe.
Time always ignore the rules, thought myself in confounded retrospect, and innocents are who this hateful culprit victimized, always.
I didn't want it to succumb to death, to die, merely because of me.
Authored by H.C.Lai
~2009.9.3~
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
He Who Must Not Be Named
Lumos.
A Patronus charged the Death Eaters.
anything a fans of JK Rowling would have said.
enchanted words, sentences,
the Gryffindor uproar.
lies beneath all truth within the Godric's Hollow.
You-Know-Who smiles.
you would say what desperate glory i'm after.
quadrangle it seems too ancient a Renaissance.
too magical a Hogwarts stands,
Albus gets hold of his Elder Wand,
where Hocruxes were defeated by the master of Death.
whoa, i am truly mad, don't I?
deluminator
click.
A Patronus charged the Death Eaters.
anything a fans of JK Rowling would have said.
enchanted words, sentences,
the Gryffindor uproar.
lies beneath all truth within the Godric's Hollow.
You-Know-Who smiles.
you would say what desperate glory i'm after.
quadrangle it seems too ancient a Renaissance.
too magical a Hogwarts stands,
Albus gets hold of his Elder Wand,
where Hocruxes were defeated by the master of Death.
whoa, i am truly mad, don't I?
deluminator
click.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
999
tweedledee and tweedledum of a pair plus one
connotes something,
nor miscellaneous it may seem,
but we just did it foolishly,
without that logic which is due to exist,
without that much little thought of being that much irrelevant,
irrelevancy is gone,
superfluousness said farewell,
with as much as black and blue on the surface,
contaminated.
someone wrote this,
i saw it in the desk,
and i just realized,
it was the darn self of me.
9
9
9
happy, be happy.
you wouldn't want,
a short, plus a sad life.
happy 'trisomy 9',
puff--
connotes something,
nor miscellaneous it may seem,
but we just did it foolishly,
without that logic which is due to exist,
without that much little thought of being that much irrelevant,
irrelevancy is gone,
superfluousness said farewell,
with as much as black and blue on the surface,
contaminated.
someone wrote this,
i saw it in the desk,
and i just realized,
it was the darn self of me.
9
9
9
happy, be happy.
you wouldn't want,
a short, plus a sad life.
happy 'trisomy 9',
puff--
Sunday, September 6, 2009
1,000
a one-day and two-hours resurrection has taken place now onwards and till the fading second..
an epiphany quenched my boredom.
that powerful it happened to bash my cerebrum.
jumps away was what a minute's second away.
nothing was left in residue.
rethink. recall in a quaint sense of retrospect, i didn't know.
i got hold of that significantly important calculator in hand and started pressing on it..
hardly ever found something to do, barely gazing at the add math papers in front,
all went black, yeah, time got something to do with what unto me now.
amidst sleep-forbid, a thinking rushed in like adrenaline,
stimulated by a familiar yet unfathomable abracadabra.
mumbo-jumbo.
odd, i thought.
look here, that's part enough of,
human beings. great. i wish,
should 2012 will not tear the paper away,
and should ever that we manage to live a hundred year.
listen to me, my dear age-mates.
we, youngsters of seventeen.
and if we live a century precisely,
bear that, i wouldn't make it a terrible fantasy now.
2009.9.6 ; 20.15
take a hundred years from now,
ten decades,
as an ending to all of us of the seventeenths, viz.
1992+100 = 2092, and henceforth,
2092.1.1 ; 00.00 for the very instance:
1 year
= 30.4383 months
= 365.25 days
= 8,766 hours
= 525,960 minutes
= 31,557,600 s
and therefore, look
take my day of born for instance, o.n.o for that particular instance,
and see, 1992.10.23 (time unknown)
from 2009.9.6 to 2009.12.31 ,
total number of days
= [(30-6)+1]+31+30+31
= 117 days
and, from 2010.1.1 to 2092.1.1 ,
total years = 2092-2010 = 82years
in which, 82 years are equivalent to:
= 83 x 365.25days
= 30,315.75 days
thus, from 2009.9.6 to 2092.1.1,
(from 17th to 100th),
total days
= 117+30,315.75
= 30,432.75 days
...total months
= 30,432.75 / 30.4383 months
= 999.8177 months
plus, with all the miscalculated ones, which,
from 2009.9.6 to 2009.12.31
total number of days = 117 days,
117 days
= 117 / 30.4383
= 3.8438 months
...3.8438 of 12 months
= 3.8438 / 12
= 0.3203(x100%)
...0.3203 has to be divided by 4,
for in case of 365.25, where 0.25 means 1/4,
since that, 0.3203 x 1/4
= 0.3203 /4
= 0.0801 month(s)
Hence, by means of such precise and troublesome calculations,
total number of months from now onwards till 2092.1.1,
which, we will age a century accordingly by that time:
999.8177 + 0.0801
= 999.8978
= 999.9 months
~ 1,000 months
and if humans do not preserve the earth,
as well as that the world ends at a range of time as the prophecy lies upon us, i.e.
(1)2012.1.1 --- (2)2012.12.31
which, in between 12 months, and 365.25 days...
in case (1) 2012.1.1...
from 2010.1.1 to 2012.1.1
= (2012-2010) x 12
= 24 months (730.5192 days)
where, 730.5192 days + 117 days (from 2009.9.6-2009.12.31)
= 847.5192 days
= 847.5192 / 30.4383
= 27.8438 months
or, in case (2) 2012.12.31...
from 2009.9.6 to 2012.12.31
= 847.5192 + 365.25
= 1,212.7692 days
= 1,212.7692 / 30.4383
= 39. 8435 months
for convenience, nay, comfort,
let's make these 2 dates an average, which,
(27.8438 + 39.8435) /2
= 33.8437 months (1,030.1432 days)
= 33.8 months
so, humans, wake up, save the earth and wear green shirts to emphasize your love towards our sole earth.....
if the destruction continues on unstoppably and unremittingly,
you shall face the inevitable truth that for the 17th generation of 2009,
if we live a century, the remaining months available to us,
= 999.9 months
but, if the prophecy turns out to be real,
we would live no more or less than averagely 33.8 months
you see the range,
999.9 - 33.8
= 966.1 months (80.5083 years)
= 966.1 x 30.4383
= 29,406.44163 days
= 1,764,386.498 min
= 105,863,189.9 s
and so on......
trust me, fellow beings,
YOU, wouldn't want to cut the lifespan ladies and gentlemen of 17 by an amount of
one hundred and five million eight hundred sixty-three thousand one hundred and eighty-nine point nine seconds.
Save . Our . Earth
and, please,
let us live twenty-nine thousand four hundred and six days point forty-four days more.
Thank you.
an epiphany quenched my boredom.
that powerful it happened to bash my cerebrum.
jumps away was what a minute's second away.
nothing was left in residue.
rethink. recall in a quaint sense of retrospect, i didn't know.
i got hold of that significantly important calculator in hand and started pressing on it..
hardly ever found something to do, barely gazing at the add math papers in front,
all went black, yeah, time got something to do with what unto me now.
amidst sleep-forbid, a thinking rushed in like adrenaline,
stimulated by a familiar yet unfathomable abracadabra.
mumbo-jumbo.
odd, i thought.
look here, that's part enough of,
human beings. great. i wish,
should 2012 will not tear the paper away,
and should ever that we manage to live a hundred year.
listen to me, my dear age-mates.
we, youngsters of seventeen.
and if we live a century precisely,
bear that, i wouldn't make it a terrible fantasy now.
2009.9.6 ; 20.15
take a hundred years from now,
ten decades,
as an ending to all of us of the seventeenths, viz.
1992+100 = 2092, and henceforth,
2092.1.1 ; 00.00 for the very instance:
1 year
= 30.4383 months
= 365.25 days
= 8,766 hours
= 525,960 minutes
= 31,557,600 s
and therefore, look
take my day of born for instance, o.n.o for that particular instance,
and see, 1992.10.23 (time unknown)
from 2009.9.6 to 2009.12.31 ,
total number of days
= [(30-6)+1]+31+30+31
= 117 days
and, from 2010.1.1 to 2092.1.1 ,
total years = 2092-2010 = 82years
in which, 82 years are equivalent to:
= 83 x 365.25days
= 30,315.75 days
thus, from 2009.9.6 to 2092.1.1,
(from 17th to 100th),
total days
= 117+30,315.75
= 30,432.75 days
...total months
= 30,432.75 / 30.4383 months
= 999.8177 months
plus, with all the miscalculated ones, which,
from 2009.9.6 to 2009.12.31
total number of days = 117 days,
117 days
= 117 / 30.4383
= 3.8438 months
...3.8438 of 12 months
= 3.8438 / 12
= 0.3203(x100%)
...0.3203 has to be divided by 4,
for in case of 365.25, where 0.25 means 1/4,
since that, 0.3203 x 1/4
= 0.3203 /4
= 0.0801 month(s)
Hence, by means of such precise and troublesome calculations,
total number of months from now onwards till 2092.1.1,
which, we will age a century accordingly by that time:
999.8177 + 0.0801
= 999.8978
= 999.9 months
~ 1,000 months
and if humans do not preserve the earth,
as well as that the world ends at a range of time as the prophecy lies upon us, i.e.
(1)2012.1.1 --- (2)2012.12.31
which, in between 12 months, and 365.25 days...
in case (1) 2012.1.1...
from 2010.1.1 to 2012.1.1
= (2012-2010) x 12
= 24 months (730.5192 days)
where, 730.5192 days + 117 days (from 2009.9.6-2009.12.31)
= 847.5192 days
= 847.5192 / 30.4383
= 27.8438 months
or, in case (2) 2012.12.31...
from 2009.9.6 to 2012.12.31
= 847.5192 + 365.25
= 1,212.7692 days
= 1,212.7692 / 30.4383
= 39. 8435 months
for convenience, nay, comfort,
let's make these 2 dates an average, which,
(27.8438 + 39.8435) /2
= 33.8437 months (1,030.1432 days)
= 33.8 months
so, humans, wake up, save the earth and wear green shirts to emphasize your love towards our sole earth.....
if the destruction continues on unstoppably and unremittingly,
you shall face the inevitable truth that for the 17th generation of 2009,
if we live a century, the remaining months available to us,
= 999.9 months
but, if the prophecy turns out to be real,
we would live no more or less than averagely 33.8 months
you see the range,
999.9 - 33.8
= 966.1 months (80.5083 years)
= 966.1 x 30.4383
= 29,406.44163 days
= 1,764,386.498 min
= 105,863,189.9 s
and so on......
trust me, fellow beings,
YOU, wouldn't want to cut the lifespan ladies and gentlemen of 17 by an amount of
one hundred and five million eight hundred sixty-three thousand one hundred and eighty-nine point nine seconds.
Save . Our . Earth
and, please,
let us live twenty-nine thousand four hundred and six days point forty-four days more.
Thank you.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
i mean
sandra, u shouldn't get pathetic about all these..
haha, jus insisting on chinese.
translate is hard ok?
so far, i could only manage to translate my own name..
the whole blog?
wow
haha, jus insisting on chinese.
translate is hard ok?
so far, i could only manage to translate my own name..
the whole blog?
wow
Thursday, July 23, 2009
untitled
http://nothingbut-only.blogspot.com/
my new blog. mandarin version..
sort of y'know, bored of the repetition of same language used
XD
my new blog. mandarin version..
sort of y'know, bored of the repetition of same language used
XD
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
nonsense
a small kid suddenly came into my sleepy view and shouted something which i wasn't sure at all...
that seems a little nonsensical and it really seems so... but later i found out that it might probably go away if i was to continue yawning for something that cures anemia..
and i didn't...
'Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!' that kid shouts suddenly, and due second i was asleep.
that seems a little nonsensical and it really seems so... but later i found out that it might probably go away if i was to continue yawning for something that cures anemia..
and i didn't...
'Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!' that kid shouts suddenly, and due second i was asleep.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
time = gold
its been real some bucks of days... yeah.. u may call it rot.. and no one ever looks at this anymore...
never it is like something more valuable than getting some kinda 12A in that blowy exam.. but more biting it is much more important to decide some wills before the seasons and year really change.. due to some unknown reasons, i almost lost some part of my faith during days ago, and through those discontented hours of desperation, i really got to know that it was not everything that could be under man's control, or even the weakest vision in us.
due date: 22/06/09
time: 11.30pm
never it is like something more valuable than getting some kinda 12A in that blowy exam.. but more biting it is much more important to decide some wills before the seasons and year really change.. due to some unknown reasons, i almost lost some part of my faith during days ago, and through those discontented hours of desperation, i really got to know that it was not everything that could be under man's control, or even the weakest vision in us.
due date: 22/06/09
time: 11.30pm
Sunday, May 24, 2009
counterfeit
that similar weather fell upon again, and it really made no sense that i did not run for the remote control to switch the jesus-ly air cond on... well, the air-cond was the savious of mankind, thx to XXX for inventing it...
then all i did today was waking up at 1pm.. coz having some dozens of beers yesterday night with all my crazy-going cousins... somehow the dose was too much and made me dizzy all the way while in the arm of Morpheus... i really want to sleep... alcohol's killing with that superstitious effect that teens often do not believe.
then i woke up suddenly, and the first thing I saw was no more than the stupid world map hanging askew on the white ordinary wall... then i got real moodless.. and even more to the extent that SOMEONE sent me a sms like a morning (well, in that case, afternoon) call, *gor, are you okay a??*
and ooo... i was so touched, then in that interval of seconds when she replied... i got real fascinated with her extraodinary comprehensive feels on me.. *gor, someone said u're real BLOODY SCARY when u get serious... (still wan laugh) HAHAAHA (somemore tend to disobey the theory of laughter)..! ouch, that pierced a lil bit... haha. fine and that was me, that IS me.
well, i normally dont haunt people's life and their mental vision toward me.. but amongst people who know me well, they know my seriousness and BLOODY-SCARINESS could be something real counterfeiting.. coz ya noe.. i aint not that serious.. i am quite-
tender.
then all i did today was waking up at 1pm.. coz having some dozens of beers yesterday night with all my crazy-going cousins... somehow the dose was too much and made me dizzy all the way while in the arm of Morpheus... i really want to sleep... alcohol's killing with that superstitious effect that teens often do not believe.
then i woke up suddenly, and the first thing I saw was no more than the stupid world map hanging askew on the white ordinary wall... then i got real moodless.. and even more to the extent that SOMEONE sent me a sms like a morning (well, in that case, afternoon) call, *gor, are you okay a??*
and ooo... i was so touched, then in that interval of seconds when she replied... i got real fascinated with her extraodinary comprehensive feels on me.. *gor, someone said u're real BLOODY SCARY when u get serious... (still wan laugh) HAHAAHA (somemore tend to disobey the theory of laughter)..! ouch, that pierced a lil bit... haha. fine and that was me, that IS me.
well, i normally dont haunt people's life and their mental vision toward me.. but amongst people who know me well, they know my seriousness and BLOODY-SCARINESS could be something real counterfeiting.. coz ya noe.. i aint not that serious.. i am quite-
tender.
Friday, May 22, 2009
supposedly...
titanic will break 1 day..
exam will end 1 day..
for whatever's gonna fall upon,
we sure are gonna going to get over it,
1 day, u see..
weekend let me hug u.. love u so much, thx for existing ^^
exam will end 1 day..
for whatever's gonna fall upon,
we sure are gonna going to get over it,
1 day, u see..
weekend let me hug u.. love u so much, thx for existing ^^
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
it cannot be
like somehow it is stated in almost ALL physics reference books, we see exercises and topical exercises and SPM formatted exercises and chapter review exercises and all bunches of bili-bala exercises all reflected to our eyes.
that instant we all entered the class, brought about two senses(moods):
(1) seik-bao-fan-mou-ye-zou (do nothing after eating full)
(2) post-EL (literature in english) i.e. fatigue in hands, mind, and all sensory organs...
then the scientific paper befell on every tiny little beings of us, on the desks...
physics..
and we opened the papers...
mentally begging for formulae sheet...
but much to our disappointment, we saw another flash of light that brought hope to us...
but all but, it was no more than an illusion, much vague than we'd imagined..
but all, and but, that seemed easy,
and as it progressed all got frustrated, coz all the questions were like so confusing that they typically asked silly questions about theories..
and fine.
tomorrow's gonna be a long day.. and my blog, i shall let it go for quite a while.
p/s: nothing.
that instant we all entered the class, brought about two senses(moods):
(1) seik-bao-fan-mou-ye-zou (do nothing after eating full)
(2) post-EL (literature in english) i.e. fatigue in hands, mind, and all sensory organs...
then the scientific paper befell on every tiny little beings of us, on the desks...
physics..
and we opened the papers...
mentally begging for formulae sheet...
but much to our disappointment, we saw another flash of light that brought hope to us...
but all but, it was no more than an illusion, much vague than we'd imagined..
but all, and but, that seemed easy,
and as it progressed all got frustrated, coz all the questions were like so confusing that they typically asked silly questions about theories..
and fine.
tomorrow's gonna be a long day.. and my blog, i shall let it go for quite a while.
p/s: nothing.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
magic will do
exams started,
exams started,
i have to look at books,
read and understand every damn things inside,
and mesmerised all the teachers' face that are so fierce waiting for my results to break,
moreover, i can't find any place to hide,
not a shoulder seems reliable now, since then,
let me get over it, and as soon as holiday comes to me,
and so i can get rid of all those UGHing things in life, i need the camp now, zatch kawan..
with all circumstances and all the feeling i've been having right now, right then, i need someone who casts magic like eating peanuts..
i know what only if, if what happens, then magic shall do the job for me,
please, i beg u
i didn't beg anyone before, just u.
it doesn't sound that convincing, isn't that, but u have to take it, for once.
look at the sky, doesn't it--
*downpour*
sigh, sigh, sigh, *yawn*.
exams started,
i have to look at books,
read and understand every damn things inside,
and mesmerised all the teachers' face that are so fierce waiting for my results to break,
moreover, i can't find any place to hide,
not a shoulder seems reliable now, since then,
let me get over it, and as soon as holiday comes to me,
and so i can get rid of all those UGHing things in life, i need the camp now, zatch kawan..
with all circumstances and all the feeling i've been having right now, right then, i need someone who casts magic like eating peanuts..
i know what only if, if what happens, then magic shall do the job for me,
please, i beg u
i didn't beg anyone before, just u.
it doesn't sound that convincing, isn't that, but u have to take it, for once.
look at the sky, doesn't it--
*downpour*
sigh, sigh, sigh, *yawn*.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
too much.
death is too much to bear.
but right at the turning point, i just realized on middle fall of yesteryear,
life, is a whole lot more to bear.
life, a resemblance of hardship, a resemblance of wear & tear, a resemblance of heartbeats,
life, symbolizes a series of,
love, love, love,
in types that are undefined,
undefined, it's really too much.
but if one moment, one freezing moment, one junction that is standstill upon, two options were to be given, and an answer was to be retrieved back at five seconds, options:
between life, and
death
death, would be a relief, a relief of oneself, having had been juxtaposed in life,
a miserable condition as right to be, having had been
an immortal,
perhaps time's too long to be said an even number to befall,
perhaps life's somehow too uneven,
as people, all life are coherent, and the coherence would not be digested, at one's hungry stomach,
being nauseated in every struggling way they could've been,
STOP.
sometimes suffer is better than enjoying life,
why, what, who, when -- life's bundled by questions,
questions that shouldn't have found exit from our mouth.
*************************************************************************************
life's too long, and people wonder why,
eve and adam created this, this mess
a big, big mess that has nothing, nothing ever to be reversed,
an irreversible life, was too much to bear with.
but right at the turning point, i just realized on middle fall of yesteryear,
life, is a whole lot more to bear.
life, a resemblance of hardship, a resemblance of wear & tear, a resemblance of heartbeats,
life, symbolizes a series of,
love, love, love,
in types that are undefined,
undefined, it's really too much.
but if one moment, one freezing moment, one junction that is standstill upon, two options were to be given, and an answer was to be retrieved back at five seconds, options:
between life, and
death
death, would be a relief, a relief of oneself, having had been juxtaposed in life,
a miserable condition as right to be, having had been
an immortal,
perhaps time's too long to be said an even number to befall,
perhaps life's somehow too uneven,
as people, all life are coherent, and the coherence would not be digested, at one's hungry stomach,
being nauseated in every struggling way they could've been,
STOP.
sometimes suffer is better than enjoying life,
why, what, who, when -- life's bundled by questions,
questions that shouldn't have found exit from our mouth.
*************************************************************************************
life's too long, and people wonder why,
eve and adam created this, this mess
a big, big mess that has nothing, nothing ever to be reversed,
an irreversible life, was too much to bear with.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
The Miss Yap Empire.
SHE, definitely conquers us with numbers, with equations, with all her whatever-it-is-yet-it-will-one-hundred-percent-involve-her-addmathsthinkingtype-sarcastically-drastically-enthusiastically-unexpectedly-mind, with all her unbelievable, fantastic, fabulous thought that one could never explain the reasons within, she did, and does, conquer us with massive billion tonnes of saliva spitting, laughter roaring, hyperventilation, hysterical atmosphere being caused, angina pectoris, hyperglaecemia, shock, illness of pressing the abdomen because that level of laughing hurts a lot, tables shaking much severely than szechuan earthquake, behind-the-scene brokeback film, books throwing around scattering in thin air like star wars, pupils begin slapping each other's jaw like getting chronic diseases, FAT guys jumping and stomping the ground as hard as over the possibility and strength like there are ghosts or apparitions emerging from the tiles, directors shouting CUT CUT CUT and spit their director-style saliva towards the pre-post-best-actress-queen Miss Yap, and hooray, all dead.
DEAD of laughing, dead of screaming, till thyroid gland bursts into pieces, till brain scatters all over the floor with brain fluid remaining, bubbling creepily.
And she said, at the very first moment, throughout the atmosphere that, indeed, bored US severely, something flew in. And that boreness is being abracadabraed into what we'd defined as 'hysterics'.
Miss Yap: you know guys, I understand that this chapter (trigonometric function) is hard and difficult, but, perhaps if you guys make a little note.
And dramatic here -- she began with some slight motion here...
she acted like an INNOCENT student, holding an invisible but visible in her imaginary PAPER, i mean small square one, in her THOUGHT, she began piling and folding it in her INVISIBLE pocket on her old-fashioned but tender-looking dress..
and here's the part that the first roar of laughter, mixing jovial tears and tonnes, maybe, of saliva broke:
"you see you see, if you have this tiny little piece of add maths note, and if you wrote down those formulas in this chapter, when eating, you can read..."
*posing an eating pose while posing another perspective angle of revising wholeheartedly*
"not only that~ you see you see, when sleeping hor... *slow motion* no... no.. i mean, before sleeping hor~ you can read also..."
*tilt her head upwards and pretending AS IF she were looking at the paper (studying), and another un-busy hand began holding another wave of INVISIBLE torchlight and began flashing it towards the paper and acting AS IF the surrounding was just as dark as when she slept*
"yalo.. yalo.. emmm.. *nodded seriously with unreadable expression* then hor~ in bas sekolah that time, you can read also..."
*holding the real irritating paper AGAIN and read, another free hand holding the hanging handle to steady herself IN A BUS*
"and hor~ when puan gan scold you that time (the so very funniest part is here) you can read also mah~"
*holding the paper again(!) and hide it under her waist as if pn. gan were really scolding her and she pretended to ignore the scolding and rather revise the notes*
"yala yala... then hor~ (here is the extremely most funniest part) you can show off ma... neh, like this like this, when a girl sits beside you......"
HAHAHA!! *hiding the paper in the pocket, though both not existing, showing it to a non-existing 'girl' right at her left side and smirk like a clown, just finished folding a dog balloon to a child, *squeaks*.
maybe if you do not know, please come to my school's staff room and search for this distinguished queen actress... ms. yap, the beyond godlike one.
any enquiries, please ask Lai Hao Cherng from 5C or anybody you had seen running out of 5C class, screaming and shouting like being nauseated and like a hysteria patient, stomping the ground like an elephant who was extremely desperate of BANANAS.
DEAD of laughing, dead of screaming, till thyroid gland bursts into pieces, till brain scatters all over the floor with brain fluid remaining, bubbling creepily.
And she said, at the very first moment, throughout the atmosphere that, indeed, bored US severely, something flew in. And that boreness is being abracadabraed into what we'd defined as 'hysterics'.
Miss Yap: you know guys, I understand that this chapter (trigonometric function) is hard and difficult, but, perhaps if you guys make a little note.
And dramatic here -- she began with some slight motion here...
she acted like an INNOCENT student, holding an invisible but visible in her imaginary PAPER, i mean small square one, in her THOUGHT, she began piling and folding it in her INVISIBLE pocket on her old-fashioned but tender-looking dress..
and here's the part that the first roar of laughter, mixing jovial tears and tonnes, maybe, of saliva broke:
"you see you see, if you have this tiny little piece of add maths note, and if you wrote down those formulas in this chapter, when eating, you can read..."
*posing an eating pose while posing another perspective angle of revising wholeheartedly*
"not only that~ you see you see, when sleeping hor... *slow motion* no... no.. i mean, before sleeping hor~ you can read also..."
*tilt her head upwards and pretending AS IF she were looking at the paper (studying), and another un-busy hand began holding another wave of INVISIBLE torchlight and began flashing it towards the paper and acting AS IF the surrounding was just as dark as when she slept*
"yalo.. yalo.. emmm.. *nodded seriously with unreadable expression* then hor~ in bas sekolah that time, you can read also..."
*holding the real irritating paper AGAIN and read, another free hand holding the hanging handle to steady herself IN A BUS*
"and hor~ when puan gan scold you that time (the so very funniest part is here) you can read also mah~"
*holding the paper again(!) and hide it under her waist as if pn. gan were really scolding her and she pretended to ignore the scolding and rather revise the notes*
"yala yala... then hor~ (here is the extremely most funniest part) you can show off ma... neh, like this like this, when a girl sits beside you......"
HAHAHA!! *hiding the paper in the pocket, though both not existing, showing it to a non-existing 'girl' right at her left side and smirk like a clown, just finished folding a dog balloon to a child, *squeaks*.
maybe if you do not know, please come to my school's staff room and search for this distinguished queen actress... ms. yap, the beyond godlike one.
any enquiries, please ask Lai Hao Cherng from 5C or anybody you had seen running out of 5C class, screaming and shouting like being nauseated and like a hysteria patient, stomping the ground like an elephant who was extremely desperate of BANANAS.
Monday, May 4, 2009
nothing else
with every single second ticks by, i begin to lock the shockness into me..
and with every hour ticks by, i am being nauseated in every way i don't used to be...
and with every day passes by i realise that i am going to sit down and doodle the papers unevenly,
and with the whole new month comes by i know that it's going to fulfill my will --
my will, to excel? to score? to...
to..
ugh.
at least 12 As will do.
yes, hao cherng,
12 As.. in ur dream, maybe..
and another side of me summons upon the confidence, sunken confidence which was hardly being found anymore within me.
there were weeks to come , months to fall back till
SPM
and i wonder if I could, or could not, or would not
score...
nothing else being concerned right now, except we-know-them: add maths, a whole lot shitS of physics and bioloGIES and past-education (history), and ugh. ugh. ugh.
all about the future, set right down the exams coming, approaching, haunting... haunting, biting,
cut-- anymore words?
I could hardly find--
I could hardly being NOT restless...
for the exams to come, for the future unsteadily held.. upon,
like an angel will fly,
but wings broken because she hit a branch,
angel could die, too, too... too.................. ..
and with every hour ticks by, i am being nauseated in every way i don't used to be...
and with every day passes by i realise that i am going to sit down and doodle the papers unevenly,
and with the whole new month comes by i know that it's going to fulfill my will --
my will, to excel? to score? to...
to..
ugh.
at least 12 As will do.
yes, hao cherng,
12 As.. in ur dream, maybe..
and another side of me summons upon the confidence, sunken confidence which was hardly being found anymore within me.
there were weeks to come , months to fall back till
SPM
and i wonder if I could, or could not, or would not
score...
nothing else being concerned right now, except we-know-them: add maths, a whole lot shitS of physics and bioloGIES and past-education (history), and ugh. ugh. ugh.
all about the future, set right down the exams coming, approaching, haunting... haunting, biting,
cut-- anymore words?
I could hardly find--
I could hardly being NOT restless...
for the exams to come, for the future unsteadily held.. upon,
like an angel will fly,
but wings broken because she hit a branch,
angel could die, too, too... too.................. ..
Thursday, April 30, 2009
blue moon
tomorrow's labour day...
labour, for workers yeah?
***************************************************************************************
at last they know my lamb's trophy wasn't written by plagiarized... others were like o.O when gopal announced that mine was not returned.
because they took it and it was as if a test being around all the remainders...
would I?
would I NOT?
labour, for workers yeah?
***************************************************************************************
at last they know my lamb's trophy wasn't written by plagiarized... others were like o.O when gopal announced that mine was not returned.
because they took it and it was as if a test being around all the remainders...
would I?
would I NOT?
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
sing along,
went to pearl school today...
and choir.. yeah..
yeah doesn't bring joy here, in this case, especially...
coz, every team was like, powerful...
and i mean, not all, but MOSTLY...
and kit yee told us to eat spicy foods edi...
spicy? yeah... kian pooi and i went nando just this afternoon, when kit yee begged us to karaoke..
and we eventually rejected that...
sad...
and WAIT!!
how did i make zhen yi injured!?!?!
did i?
and yea.. here i remembered at last..
i sat on his lap..
and i shook to force him away from zhengkang. so i can sit with zk to crap a whole lot throughout the journey, the short journey..
LOL!
i was like wtheck when kit yee told me,
i injured an innocent human being,
who just simply wishes to live normally on earth,
but i spoilt his locomotion...
im really sorry...
mayb, maybe..
zhengkang is sort of too attractive and i guess all humans want to stick to him,
adhesive zhengkang...
and sorry...
hahaXD
i still manage to laugh,
coz i know,
u won't force me to treat u another nando...
extra hot peri-peri? u watch out..
i watch out...
*************************************************************************************
And the melody swishes...
to minds that swirl along with the rhythm......
and choir.. yeah..
yeah doesn't bring joy here, in this case, especially...
coz, every team was like, powerful...
and i mean, not all, but MOSTLY...
and kit yee told us to eat spicy foods edi...
spicy? yeah... kian pooi and i went nando just this afternoon, when kit yee begged us to karaoke..
and we eventually rejected that...
sad...
and WAIT!!
how did i make zhen yi injured!?!?!
did i?
and yea.. here i remembered at last..
i sat on his lap..
and i shook to force him away from zhengkang. so i can sit with zk to crap a whole lot throughout the journey, the short journey..
LOL!
i was like wtheck when kit yee told me,
i injured an innocent human being,
who just simply wishes to live normally on earth,
but i spoilt his locomotion...
im really sorry...
mayb, maybe..
zhengkang is sort of too attractive and i guess all humans want to stick to him,
adhesive zhengkang...
and sorry...
hahaXD
i still manage to laugh,
coz i know,
u won't force me to treat u another nando...
extra hot peri-peri? u watch out..
i watch out...
*************************************************************************************
And the melody swishes...
to minds that swirl along with the rhythm......
Sunday, April 26, 2009
tag (just one).
mui, got this from ur blog,
sort of 'harvest' it for nothing.
You have to start:You must answer every question TRUTHFULLY* or else you wont have LOVE for 5 years.
[01]Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to?
ex? cursing me, i guess.
[02]Have you ever been given roses?
usually i picked, and eventually you'll find it in some trash bins nearby.
[03]What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
you know what, i tell you, Titanic
[04]Had a Long Distance Relationship?
sure! with my pillow, i haven't ever abandoned her since i was born, though.
[05]Do you believe in this saying-What goes around comes around?
no, i guess, i mean, not yet.
[06]Do you want to get married?
I am not the right person to get this question, coz as a matter of fact, those girls will force me to marry THEM, i don't get to see the options at all...xD
[07]How many kids do you want to have?
if my wife were a pig, i guess, errmm. probably half a dozen would suffice.
[09]Who was the last person you held hands with?
my right hand and my left hand, they're being naughty these days.
[10]Do you believe in love at first sight?
yes. i fall in love with myself the first time i looked at the mirror, the perfect reflection of the perfect-ever complexion, xD
[11]Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
see if SHE wants, i don't mind, really
[12]At what age did you start noticing the opposite gender?
negative one year old
[13]Do you know someone who likes you?
every living thing on earth with 2 legs, 2 hands, 1 head, and knows how to talk with mouth, breath with lungs, think with brains, though some are unable... xD
[15]Do you love anyone?
u know mirror? the person in the mirror whenever i am in front of it... xD
[16]Do they know you like/love them?
u guess.
[17]Why did you and your most recent ex break up?
i don wan the headlines reporting one girl died of starvation because she couldn't stop using her mouth to say "I LOVE YOU... I LOVE YOU..." instead of using it to EAT.
[18]When did you two last speak to one another?
yesterday night, in my dream
[19]Would you get back together with your ex?
would you want this death to occur in reality?!
[20]What comes to your mind when you think of love?
obviously, mirror...
[21]Is there anyone who knows you inside and out?
my mother, coz her brain controls her digestive system, and this system controls her intestines, and my origin was that particular intestine.
sort of 'harvest' it for nothing.
You have to start:You must answer every question TRUTHFULLY* or else you wont have LOVE for 5 years.
[01]Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to?
ex? cursing me, i guess.
[02]Have you ever been given roses?
usually i picked, and eventually you'll find it in some trash bins nearby.
[03]What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
you know what, i tell you, Titanic
[04]Had a Long Distance Relationship?
sure! with my pillow, i haven't ever abandoned her since i was born, though.
[05]Do you believe in this saying-What goes around comes around?
no, i guess, i mean, not yet.
[06]Do you want to get married?
I am not the right person to get this question, coz as a matter of fact, those girls will force me to marry THEM, i don't get to see the options at all...xD
[07]How many kids do you want to have?
if my wife were a pig, i guess, errmm. probably half a dozen would suffice.
[09]Who was the last person you held hands with?
my right hand and my left hand, they're being naughty these days.
[10]Do you believe in love at first sight?
yes. i fall in love with myself the first time i looked at the mirror, the perfect reflection of the perfect-ever complexion, xD
[11]Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
see if SHE wants, i don't mind, really
[12]At what age did you start noticing the opposite gender?
negative one year old
[13]Do you know someone who likes you?
every living thing on earth with 2 legs, 2 hands, 1 head, and knows how to talk with mouth, breath with lungs, think with brains, though some are unable... xD
[15]Do you love anyone?
u know mirror? the person in the mirror whenever i am in front of it... xD
[16]Do they know you like/love them?
u guess.
[17]Why did you and your most recent ex break up?
i don wan the headlines reporting one girl died of starvation because she couldn't stop using her mouth to say "I LOVE YOU... I LOVE YOU..." instead of using it to EAT.
[18]When did you two last speak to one another?
yesterday night, in my dream
[19]Would you get back together with your ex?
would you want this death to occur in reality?!
[20]What comes to your mind when you think of love?
obviously, mirror...
[21]Is there anyone who knows you inside and out?
my mother, coz her brain controls her digestive system, and this system controls her intestines, and my origin was that particular intestine.
miscellaneous
another day.
precisely, another boring day as to be.
and there few hope-to-be-ignored people urged me to go and watch state-comp.
and although it has to be a 'yes' from me,
but u know, sometimes it gets difficult when your feet are especially, and unexpectedly,
reluctant.
then i decide, my mind divided into 2 parts now.
one of it decide to take in those urgings,
and the other part took over and buried the previous thought,
and, subconsciously as ever, I remained.
compromise between 2 thoughts, first one deadly, the other even more deadly.
sorry if you didn't get to see me.
and even a double time sorry if you didn't get to have a chance to look at me in full U, which I wouldn't have the slightest interest to let you scrutinize on.
and another part somehow wished that I would go, at least my ass up,
but head down.
instead,
I went out, i mean, apparently, I ended up in Kajang, surveying my future home there.
and there along the way, on the silver way my father kept nagging at me,
hey, you know? 700 thousand, it's not that real easy.
and though, I know, but it wouldn't just fit in my mind, for always.
and as i went back, another moment I ended up in shin's house, i mean, lounge(?)
and, ghostly as ever,
I got my skull, no, i mean, hair -
-cut
and it was, okay to the side of it.
meanwhile some guests reached my house when I finally got back to house with my quite-noticeable paces. and there all inmachos were playing mahjong, I knew quite clearly that I wouldn't have been zombie, finding a vacant and sit and rot and lose soul with few meats around pong-ing, gong-ing, and eating (seik-wu).
tv screens on.
and I watched past my sis' head to the screen.
a documentary as my mind wandered that directionlessly.
particularly, a plane appeared in the screen, showing some I-dunno-what series of event in it.
but that plane reminded me something quite as miscellanously.
misc but apparently i got it locked in mind as i remembered, memory dug.
i remembered my brother got an inscentive trip to taiwan.
taiwan u know? and forget bout it, and i dunno:
for unknown's sake he captured all-but-still-unknown,
empty-as-zero pictures on the plane, by the pane, to the (?) err..
and i hesitate for the word, WINGS?
and i was what for a?
huh?
hmm...
but well have a look, above clouds,
where I (god) sleep,
calmly as ever.
now guys, though you don't really get the chance to see me today,
and as to fulfill your bewildering disappointment,
and anxiousity and discouragement and mostly as ever,
depression,
ok, well, look at my bed,
i mean all in toto: my bedroom,
it doesn't mean 'vast', but boundless should suit better.
and, excuse me,
i, i mean, my brother, he didn't simply mean to take these photos of the above-clouds,-
wait, i mean, of my BED(s) this grayishly. I DO wash my bed(s) frequently that you couldn't possibly make a measure of the frequency.
but in fact, that was all because of the (as to physic theory) err.. (and sandra would complain *there you go again gor...*) so i stop with those IRRITATING-TO-YOUR-HORMONES theories. but instead, the fact is that the window, and due to several defined or undefined circumstances, that does the effect.
crap.
and, back to the reality here,
had you ever seen a recycle bin in taiwan?
well-educated people seem to choose living at taiwan,
and this is much due to the going-to-exticnt wisdom they are having.
or, a mailbox?
well, don't get overwhelmed by their intelligence in the sense of, er.. art.
being this diagonal isn't that easy.
and would you put some letters in it,
i bet the postman would ignore it,
and if i were the postman,
your letters will be sent in opened condition.
and these were all of craps,
all are miscellaneous,
just that,
but, my bedroom couldn't be miscellaneous!
because it's mine,
and of course, it's God's.
precisely, another boring day as to be.
and there few hope-to-be-ignored people urged me to go and watch state-comp.
and although it has to be a 'yes' from me,
but u know, sometimes it gets difficult when your feet are especially, and unexpectedly,
reluctant.
then i decide, my mind divided into 2 parts now.
one of it decide to take in those urgings,
and the other part took over and buried the previous thought,
and, subconsciously as ever, I remained.
compromise between 2 thoughts, first one deadly, the other even more deadly.
sorry if you didn't get to see me.
and even a double time sorry if you didn't get to have a chance to look at me in full U, which I wouldn't have the slightest interest to let you scrutinize on.
and another part somehow wished that I would go, at least my ass up,
but head down.
instead,
I went out, i mean, apparently, I ended up in Kajang, surveying my future home there.
and there along the way, on the silver way my father kept nagging at me,
hey, you know? 700 thousand, it's not that real easy.
and though, I know, but it wouldn't just fit in my mind, for always.
and as i went back, another moment I ended up in shin's house, i mean, lounge(?)
and, ghostly as ever,
I got my skull, no, i mean, hair -
-cut
and it was, okay to the side of it.
meanwhile some guests reached my house when I finally got back to house with my quite-noticeable paces. and there all inmachos were playing mahjong, I knew quite clearly that I wouldn't have been zombie, finding a vacant and sit and rot and lose soul with few meats around pong-ing, gong-ing, and eating (seik-wu).
tv screens on.
and I watched past my sis' head to the screen.
a documentary as my mind wandered that directionlessly.
particularly, a plane appeared in the screen, showing some I-dunno-what series of event in it.
but that plane reminded me something quite as miscellanously.
misc but apparently i got it locked in mind as i remembered, memory dug.
i remembered my brother got an inscentive trip to taiwan.
taiwan u know? and forget bout it, and i dunno:
for unknown's sake he captured all-but-still-unknown,
empty-as-zero pictures on the plane, by the pane, to the (?) err..
and i hesitate for the word, WINGS?
and i was what for a?
huh?
hmm...
but well have a look, above clouds,
where I (god) sleep,
calmly as ever.
now guys, though you don't really get the chance to see me today,
and as to fulfill your bewildering disappointment,
and anxiousity and discouragement and mostly as ever,
depression,
ok, well, look at my bed,
i mean all in toto: my bedroom,
it doesn't mean 'vast', but boundless should suit better.
and, excuse me,
i, i mean, my brother, he didn't simply mean to take these photos of the above-clouds,-
wait, i mean, of my BED(s) this grayishly. I DO wash my bed(s) frequently that you couldn't possibly make a measure of the frequency.
but in fact, that was all because of the (as to physic theory) err.. (and sandra would complain *there you go again gor...*) so i stop with those IRRITATING-TO-YOUR-HORMONES theories. but instead, the fact is that the window, and due to several defined or undefined circumstances, that does the effect.
crap.
and, back to the reality here,
had you ever seen a recycle bin in taiwan?
well-educated people seem to choose living at taiwan,
and this is much due to the going-to-exticnt wisdom they are having.
or, a mailbox?
well, don't get overwhelmed by their intelligence in the sense of, er.. art.being this diagonal isn't that easy.
and would you put some letters in it,
i bet the postman would ignore it,
and if i were the postman,
your letters will be sent in opened condition.
and these were all of craps,
all are miscellaneous,
just that,
but, my bedroom couldn't be miscellaneous!
because it's mine,
and of course, it's God's.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
hedonist
i want peace, of all my mind like a lunar evading... ugh.
and it is best if 1 more week is needed to finish up eclipse..
and, start maddening the atmosphere around me with breaking dawn.
and later those come out and bite,
flesh and blood scatter apart.
like a ghostly apparition of oneself.
stuck in midair,
lurching forth and back through creepy scourge.
i don wan to be an immortal,
but, after all,
a hedonist, i suppose.
-Fire and Ice-
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
and it is best if 1 more week is needed to finish up eclipse..
and, start maddening the atmosphere around me with breaking dawn.
and later those come out and bite,
flesh and blood scatter apart.
like a ghostly apparition of oneself.
stuck in midair,
lurching forth and back through creepy scourge.
i don wan to be an immortal,
but, after all,
a hedonist, i suppose.
-Fire and Ice-
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
-Robert Frost-
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
P.M.S.
take . note .
the PMS here doesn't, and ever as it supposed would mean 'pre-menstrual-syndrome'.
don't get it wrong,
that is one syndrome I am suffering from, right now, though.
Praise-Meyer-Syndrome
There are moments of pleasure and maddening idiotic while, flipping the page like crazy ever, which you WON'T reckon yourself to look at.
Addicted to her writings, her words, her sentences and of every single comma, full stop, hyphen, etc in those pages, which overwhelm my brain, flushed in INHUMAN thoughts all the way round, and as absentmindedly and nightmare.. Oh! NIGHTMARE! Am I or am I not entering the filthy bloodsucker's thing or the pack of smelly dogs thing that all echoed and stunned every part of me.
Like storm would never ever halt.
And I am waiting for the ribbon to touch the chess. Mind the cover pages.
I am not a sane now. I mean, currently, though let's pray I would back in a human's status, as original and the way you guys insist so - HOT.
the PMS here doesn't, and ever as it supposed would mean 'pre-menstrual-syndrome'.
don't get it wrong,
that is one syndrome I am suffering from, right now, though.
Praise-Meyer-Syndrome
There are moments of pleasure and maddening idiotic while, flipping the page like crazy ever, which you WON'T reckon yourself to look at.
Addicted to her writings, her words, her sentences and of every single comma, full stop, hyphen, etc in those pages, which overwhelm my brain, flushed in INHUMAN thoughts all the way round, and as absentmindedly and nightmare.. Oh! NIGHTMARE! Am I or am I not entering the filthy bloodsucker's thing or the pack of smelly dogs thing that all echoed and stunned every part of me.
Like storm would never ever halt.
And I am waiting for the ribbon to touch the chess. Mind the cover pages.
I am not a sane now. I mean, currently, though let's pray I would back in a human's status, as original and the way you guys insist so - HOT.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
hustle bustle
busy busy busy!!
thought there's a training today... but all of an Earth sudden canceled because of the science challenge.. shin a... lose liao admit lar...
choir, and why would i ever join something like that, expose my throat? dry... hope it wont get sore on 28. wish i would get out of bass and get into tenor, i don wan my voice to be so
out"stand"ing..
and there was the stupid st john meeting, yeah. st john, i couldn't find the right word that would suit this meeting, coz it was like, blah!
boon, i wasn't sure if the spiral thing i taught the recruits was correct or not.. ono, comon, humor sikit lar... sure la sure la, but it was according to our previous board's brothers..
and i really wasn't sure that if they were right.
when would the costume really arrive, without that, we would all sing nakedly.xD
god. the chinese society thing is really killing, my cells in every part of my body.
wholely, the shirt thing and the meetings, members grumbling that innocent look. makes people tighten fists.
particularly, the chinese chess competition.
AJK pertandingan, kononnya..
i would need assistance, anyway, if i need, i would tell, don get worried if i'm goin to hide that, not telling u, but whenever mistakes or blames fall, on your head please.
that was a series, parallel one.
thought there's a training today... but all of an Earth sudden canceled because of the science challenge.. shin a... lose liao admit lar...
choir, and why would i ever join something like that, expose my throat? dry... hope it wont get sore on 28. wish i would get out of bass and get into tenor, i don wan my voice to be so
out"stand"ing..
and there was the stupid st john meeting, yeah. st john, i couldn't find the right word that would suit this meeting, coz it was like, blah!
boon, i wasn't sure if the spiral thing i taught the recruits was correct or not.. ono, comon, humor sikit lar... sure la sure la, but it was according to our previous board's brothers..
and i really wasn't sure that if they were right.
when would the costume really arrive, without that, we would all sing nakedly.xD
god. the chinese society thing is really killing, my cells in every part of my body.
wholely, the shirt thing and the meetings, members grumbling that innocent look. makes people tighten fists.
particularly, the chinese chess competition.
AJK pertandingan, kononnya..
i would need assistance, anyway, if i need, i would tell, don get worried if i'm goin to hide that, not telling u, but whenever mistakes or blames fall, on your head please.
that was a series, parallel one.
Monday, April 13, 2009
4th dimension
Space, where there is a space, I might seek a vacant seat for myself. Drizzles bark into rain, transform the sky into eternity black, space hidden. Leaves chafed with wind howling across empty street. Dusts circulate, and eventually, lie motionlessly in lungs, where the last hint of heartbeat quotes. Oxygen isn't supportive, had it risen to a substance that tears throats without damaging the jaw. Fists clenched, like clouds humorously consume the brightness, fade. Eyes turn dark, iris speaks, into the desolate air. Wind continues howling, roaring deaf. Had it arisen the anger, in whoever might unleash, with unbeatable eagerness.
Action than speak.
My weight, abrasively, ungraciously, bombarded the space where empty's still hadn't been found, yet, another comet rose, in the corner of one corner-vision of the clouds' formation. Tightly but uneven, like freckles too much on a face. Was it a burden but no more than a sight nor reaction could stop right away, stop many few miles away where realization still had not fell on pulse yet.
A cloud diminished, right when where my eyes fixed tightly on the position it shouldn't have been.
Rows of distance that might have seemed too far away from sight, where an indistinct movement of the instant could I hardly still seem manageable to capture. Hardly as possible for myself to regain the fluidity in my movement, even though as still as statue, dying with mosses and ferns, encapsulating a breeze of horror, numbness, death.
I wish someday in days that rely upon, my feet would no long entangle, like kids on their knees. I might stumble along, way too idiotic to be said, but at least I got my manner up the normal acceptable rate, most probably.
And when a hole reopens in its least will would it be, without any hesitation would take my decision to flush and dissolve. Jump. Is all I could, stopping every single motion on my body that may cause disturbance to the might-be-superstitious eventual thought, but breathe will go on.
As long I got my ankle dis-dislocated, I would jump, falling into another dimension, as the fourth should've be its name, where I will no longer have to face, YOU, at all.
Action than speak.
My weight, abrasively, ungraciously, bombarded the space where empty's still hadn't been found, yet, another comet rose, in the corner of one corner-vision of the clouds' formation. Tightly but uneven, like freckles too much on a face. Was it a burden but no more than a sight nor reaction could stop right away, stop many few miles away where realization still had not fell on pulse yet.
A cloud diminished, right when where my eyes fixed tightly on the position it shouldn't have been.
Rows of distance that might have seemed too far away from sight, where an indistinct movement of the instant could I hardly still seem manageable to capture. Hardly as possible for myself to regain the fluidity in my movement, even though as still as statue, dying with mosses and ferns, encapsulating a breeze of horror, numbness, death.
I wish someday in days that rely upon, my feet would no long entangle, like kids on their knees. I might stumble along, way too idiotic to be said, but at least I got my manner up the normal acceptable rate, most probably.
And when a hole reopens in its least will would it be, without any hesitation would take my decision to flush and dissolve. Jump. Is all I could, stopping every single motion on my body that may cause disturbance to the might-be-superstitious eventual thought, but breathe will go on.
As long I got my ankle dis-dislocated, I would jump, falling into another dimension, as the fourth should've be its name, where I will no longer have to face, YOU, at all.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
currently hyperventilating.
I can't have enough oxygen lately. I am really kinda suffering from vampires, werewolves and humans stuffs. It all come so quick, dissolve right into my subconscious mind. Turning and flipping every single sheet like a mad fellow that had escaped out of mental hospital. And what in return was that,
NOW,
She was so depressed, so desperate,
that wolf didn't come to her at beach of La Push,
most of all,
the vegetarian vampire trashed her,
at least with that melodic, angelic voice,
and she leaped,
down the high cliff,
to the dark water,
surprising, huh?
I saw flashes of golden eyes,
staring blankly at me,
in their long train of thoughts.
Mad, don't call me worm.
NOW,
She was so depressed, so desperate,
that wolf didn't come to her at beach of La Push,
most of all,
the vegetarian vampire trashed her,
at least with that melodic, angelic voice,
and she leaped,
down the high cliff,
to the dark water,
surprising, huh?
I saw flashes of golden eyes,
staring blankly at me,
in their long train of thoughts.
Mad, don't call me worm.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Boiling point
awakened at 4.30 a.m.
and it was, damn freezing cold, outside of my body,
as well as inside me.
I can't resist the icy breeze, I was too weak.
And, I can't sleep.
I shook like an idiot.
Now the sun had risen.
The breeze lessens.
Now.
Another day to go.
I try not to be deceitful.
But I am.
Now the fever tends to recede.
A LITTLE BY LITTLE.
Every single second I drown in dizziness.
I can't manage to not holding my stomach to expel the shitty flu.
at least I am conscious.
I won't die that fast.
The world needs me.
Whatever the consequences are,
I am hungry right now,
ever since 48 hours without nutrients,
my phloem is rotting,
I will not allow that,
I NEED FOOD.
ZzzzzzzZzzzzzzZzzzzzz
and it was, damn freezing cold, outside of my body,
as well as inside me.
I can't resist the icy breeze, I was too weak.
And, I can't sleep.
I shook like an idiot.
Now the sun had risen.
The breeze lessens.
Now.
Another day to go.
I try not to be deceitful.
But I am.
Now the fever tends to recede.
A LITTLE BY LITTLE.
Every single second I drown in dizziness.
I can't manage to not holding my stomach to expel the shitty flu.
at least I am conscious.
I won't die that fast.
The world needs me.
Whatever the consequences are,
I am hungry right now,
ever since 48 hours without nutrients,
my phloem is rotting,
I will not allow that,
I NEED FOOD.
ZzzzzzzZzzzzzzZzzzzzz
Friday, April 10, 2009
I barely breathe
My blog was one-day in-updated.
Thanks to the heat which circulates in me.
My forehead grew some wrinkles, unbelievable.
I hardly search for energy to press on the keyboard, which seems so solid to me right now.
My nasal is blocked.
I knew it wouldn't affect these days.
but it did.
and at school, in my class,
people would do nothing, but give me a weird glance with blank thought.
I felt,
miserable,
I couldn't sleep whole night,
I hardly closed my eyes.
I need some drugs,
that would positively inject into me,
I must reincarnate.
The blanket wasn't thick enough,
to repel the icebergs in me.
I got fever,
I need panadolS..
I need her. At my side,
even though,
I know that much,
I am definitely,
a selfish person.
You kick me.
Into the hazardous,
doomed flame,
that causes me sick.
I wished someone could suck the heat outta me.
I don't want to die,
moreover,
If a dreamless night were to come,
I would say,
"I need you."
p/s: I wasn't emo, just wondering would I recover from this deadly fever,
or else,
wouldn't, at all.
Thanks to the heat which circulates in me.
My forehead grew some wrinkles, unbelievable.
I hardly search for energy to press on the keyboard, which seems so solid to me right now.
My nasal is blocked.
I knew it wouldn't affect these days.
but it did.
and at school, in my class,
people would do nothing, but give me a weird glance with blank thought.
I felt,
miserable,
I couldn't sleep whole night,
I hardly closed my eyes.
I need some drugs,
that would positively inject into me,
I must reincarnate.
The blanket wasn't thick enough,
to repel the icebergs in me.
I got fever,
I need panadolS..
I need her. At my side,
even though,
I know that much,
I am definitely,
a selfish person.
You kick me.
Into the hazardous,
doomed flame,
that causes me sick.
I wished someone could suck the heat outta me.
I don't want to die,
moreover,
If a dreamless night were to come,
I would say,
"I need you."
p/s: I wasn't emo, just wondering would I recover from this deadly fever,
or else,
wouldn't, at all.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
changeable
the plan was changed, the date, the day, the time, possibly? or not.
To go and see stars, which was much available for now, it would take some hesitation in it.
I wanted to, but if they were not, it will probably pull my throat out.
The physics book stared at me, the bio, as well. I could not help but think if there's a way for I might, manage to flip that deadly front cover, persuading and corrupting my mind, with formulas and devilish cells.
My mind was separated into two now, left and right, and PHYSICally, it would be according to the darn Fleming's left hand rule. N and S.
Whatever.
Plans are changeable. And I manage to smile now.
Ever.
*clear throat*
If only, five of you, would clear minds like how I clear my throat, and if it were possible, please,
kindly,
considerately,
WRITE UR NAME,
PAY THE FEE,
AND GO,
AND WATCH,
mostly, enjoy the scenery,
because it does not last long.
To go and see stars, which was much available for now, it would take some hesitation in it.
I wanted to, but if they were not, it will probably pull my throat out.
The physics book stared at me, the bio, as well. I could not help but think if there's a way for I might, manage to flip that deadly front cover, persuading and corrupting my mind, with formulas and devilish cells.
My mind was separated into two now, left and right, and PHYSICally, it would be according to the darn Fleming's left hand rule. N and S.
Whatever.
Plans are changeable. And I manage to smile now.
Ever.
*clear throat*
If only, five of you, would clear minds like how I clear my throat, and if it were possible, please,
kindly,
considerately,
WRITE UR NAME,
PAY THE FEE,
AND GO,
AND WATCH,
mostly, enjoy the scenery,
because it does not last long.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
twinkle twinkle lil' stars...
physics...
*projector flashes*
a
s
t
r
o
n
o
m
y
kuala selangor..
I wonder, if they want to go,
or most probably,
NO.
IT APPEARED THAT THE ANSWER IS QUITE CLEAR NOW.
definitely, they forced me to take something in..
laughter inhales,
tears exhale,
mind explodes.
Wounds cured.
Did I dissolve, in that massive disappointment, certainly a knot I would never, never untie.
I look at the sky. I wish something would happen.
Coming Thursday,
Please, I beg you,
so sincere that I never needed to,
please...
rain with all Your might.
then the scope would be blocked,
then it would be...
errr..
I don't hesitate usually, for an answer to this...
err..
then it would be..
err.....
FAIR & JUST.
I nodded along with my quote.
You need a 'twinkle x2 lil' stars, how I... blah blah blah' lullaby to make that wish comes true.
and, please repeat 3 times,
and eventually,
it works.
*projector flashes*
a
s
t
r
o
n
o
m
y
kuala selangor..
I wonder, if they want to go,
or most probably,
NO.
IT APPEARED THAT THE ANSWER IS QUITE CLEAR NOW.
definitely, they forced me to take something in..
laughter inhales,
tears exhale,
mind explodes.
Wounds cured.
Did I dissolve, in that massive disappointment, certainly a knot I would never, never untie.
I look at the sky. I wish something would happen.
Coming Thursday,
Please, I beg you,
so sincere that I never needed to,
please...
rain with all Your might.
then the scope would be blocked,
then it would be...
errr..
I don't hesitate usually, for an answer to this...
err..
then it would be..
err.....
FAIR & JUST.
I nodded along with my quote.
You need a 'twinkle x2 lil' stars, how I... blah blah blah' lullaby to make that wish comes true.
and, please repeat 3 times,
and eventually,
it works.
Monday, April 6, 2009
when clouds gone...
'Hold.' She muttered when I tried the best of my strength to pull the pair of hands that seemed so supportive, under the ocean, I barely gasped for air, as I had finally managed to hold it firmly with all my might. My reluctance broke off, into pieces, and it eventually turned to something strong, which contributed to my entangling inner defense against the weakness of myself, which had past, and gone, long after the blood bath came to a full stop.
It did not manage to hold me from the ocean as the buoyant seemed pulling me down as the opposite way it should have. Struggling from the depth and darkness that seemed pulling me down, sinking downwards with a momentum much vigorous than I had ever imagined. I wished I could give up but the hands held, still and firm enough to support me in mid-depth, I supposed I shall let it go, I did not want another sacrifice. I did not want them to acknowledge my selfishness. Through effervescence that were too massive to ever be described, I roared as it pulled, sucked, tightened and stiffened my body throughout every single corner of my nerves, pulses and bloods.
My thoughts bubbled away with the strong current that was seemingly calming down right now. It happened that the time appeared to freeze.
I saw angels. Smiling my favourite smile with the most perfect curves on each of them, I wandered about my thought.
It appeared to be so vivid. So strong, so unbelievable.
My feet loosened. The undercurrents could no longer entangle me from any movement, anymore. It eventually, faded.
I saw hope. I saw lights flashing an instant command of the vista of the great heaven, smiling at me, so warm that I could not even resist to look, to feel, to be stunned at that very moment I could barely realise what had happened. My mind blank, as it went so blank that even myself could not take a measure of the depth of numbness in me, my hands reached upwards involuntarily, broke over the currents.
Pairs of hands, reaching towards me, aura of blessedness flushed over my brain, it no longer stayed in its fragile condition, it eventually, regained its original rigidity.
Few millimeters more, then I could really hold, grip those translucent, enigmatic, smiling hands and never ever release again. It was a betrayal to myself. I chose death, but it did not choose me, I sighed, with relief, from anger, from disappointment, from fatigue, from wounds in hearts, from the sense of urgency in my pulses, and, from the stunned bloods that once a long time that had flown in the streams in me, from numbness, my fate changed. In its most inaudible rate I could have felt.
My iris felt at an instant when hands touched. I felt it. Sweats and tears flee.
The fountain arose. From where my head tilt upwards and extended till my feet unleashed abrasively. I shook. Water evaporated. Warmth covered me thoroughly.
I managed to breath now, no longer gasping but deeply enhancing my trachea. At least, right now, I breath with lungs.
Seconds ticked by, I recognized who they were. In the middle of them, where about a natural centre of the circle that covered me. Dried eyes embellished by the flashy golden reflection by the sunlight.
The angels, I told myself. They saved me, from the lust of death, from the depression under the ravine. My spine straightened.
I saluted.
AND, I was alive, because of you all.
WHEN CLOUDS GONE, I saw the sun, I saw the light, from heaven, extended to the boundless meadow, when sobbings gone, I saw you, and you, and all of you, who reached your hands to me. Who alarmed me from death that would come by.
Our eyes burned in contact.
*************************************************************************************************************
You modified me, from evils, Sandra. And I did not know how to say thanks.
flammable mommy,
xiau wei,
MIC,
Zunzen,
and MOSTLY,
SANDRA CHEAH.
********************************************************************************************************
Love is impenetratable.
And when I fell, I would remember the sunshine YOU guys had given me.
I would remember those words, trying so difficultly to immerse within my heart, and mind.
It makes sense, it makes me cry.
Cry, indeed, not any form of depression and anger,
But, a whole lot of residue, from gratitudes, and caring, and mostly,
LOVE.
Love is impenetratable.
***********************************************************************************************************
The waves calmed. On the surface of the infinite ocean, the sky smiled hugely as ever.
Your smile, was definitely, one-hundred-and-one-percent-ly not going to fade, as long as we exist......
WHY AM I EXISTING?
I've been searching and seeking the answer,
at last, I fulfilled my demand for it....
WHY AM I EXISTING?
Because, you exist, and I, as well.
It did not manage to hold me from the ocean as the buoyant seemed pulling me down as the opposite way it should have. Struggling from the depth and darkness that seemed pulling me down, sinking downwards with a momentum much vigorous than I had ever imagined. I wished I could give up but the hands held, still and firm enough to support me in mid-depth, I supposed I shall let it go, I did not want another sacrifice. I did not want them to acknowledge my selfishness. Through effervescence that were too massive to ever be described, I roared as it pulled, sucked, tightened and stiffened my body throughout every single corner of my nerves, pulses and bloods.
My thoughts bubbled away with the strong current that was seemingly calming down right now. It happened that the time appeared to freeze.
I saw angels. Smiling my favourite smile with the most perfect curves on each of them, I wandered about my thought.
It appeared to be so vivid. So strong, so unbelievable.
My feet loosened. The undercurrents could no longer entangle me from any movement, anymore. It eventually, faded.
I saw hope. I saw lights flashing an instant command of the vista of the great heaven, smiling at me, so warm that I could not even resist to look, to feel, to be stunned at that very moment I could barely realise what had happened. My mind blank, as it went so blank that even myself could not take a measure of the depth of numbness in me, my hands reached upwards involuntarily, broke over the currents.
Pairs of hands, reaching towards me, aura of blessedness flushed over my brain, it no longer stayed in its fragile condition, it eventually, regained its original rigidity.
Few millimeters more, then I could really hold, grip those translucent, enigmatic, smiling hands and never ever release again. It was a betrayal to myself. I chose death, but it did not choose me, I sighed, with relief, from anger, from disappointment, from fatigue, from wounds in hearts, from the sense of urgency in my pulses, and, from the stunned bloods that once a long time that had flown in the streams in me, from numbness, my fate changed. In its most inaudible rate I could have felt.
My iris felt at an instant when hands touched. I felt it. Sweats and tears flee.
The fountain arose. From where my head tilt upwards and extended till my feet unleashed abrasively. I shook. Water evaporated. Warmth covered me thoroughly.
I managed to breath now, no longer gasping but deeply enhancing my trachea. At least, right now, I breath with lungs.
Seconds ticked by, I recognized who they were. In the middle of them, where about a natural centre of the circle that covered me. Dried eyes embellished by the flashy golden reflection by the sunlight.
The angels, I told myself. They saved me, from the lust of death, from the depression under the ravine. My spine straightened.
I saluted.
AND, I was alive, because of you all.
WHEN CLOUDS GONE, I saw the sun, I saw the light, from heaven, extended to the boundless meadow, when sobbings gone, I saw you, and you, and all of you, who reached your hands to me. Who alarmed me from death that would come by.
Our eyes burned in contact.
*************************************************************************************************************
You modified me, from evils, Sandra. And I did not know how to say thanks.
flammable mommy,
xiau wei,
MIC,
Zunzen,
and MOSTLY,
SANDRA CHEAH.
********************************************************************************************************
Love is impenetratable.
And when I fell, I would remember the sunshine YOU guys had given me.
I would remember those words, trying so difficultly to immerse within my heart, and mind.
It makes sense, it makes me cry.
Cry, indeed, not any form of depression and anger,
But, a whole lot of residue, from gratitudes, and caring, and mostly,
LOVE.
Love is impenetratable.
***********************************************************************************************************
The waves calmed. On the surface of the infinite ocean, the sky smiled hugely as ever.
Your smile, was definitely, one-hundred-and-one-percent-ly not going to fade, as long as we exist......
WHY AM I EXISTING?
I've been searching and seeking the answer,
at last, I fulfilled my demand for it....
WHY AM I EXISTING?
Because, you exist, and I, as well.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Complications of existence.
Yesterday
First hint of daylight, I woke up furiously. With the engine roared to life and accelerating inside me, I jumped down from my bed and whacked the alarm clocked into a billion pieces. There the mist eventually scattered off.
Without much thought, I bumped against the cupboard and sucked 2 jerseys and a pants out. Hurriedly ever I ran down the stairs five steps in one, I changed my outfits quickest I could. The vitamins invaded my veins as the sunlight poured over me thoroughly. A cup of coffee was too aromatic to be included in my breakfast, and the smell of it simply woke me up to full consciousness.
I washed the cup without looking at it. The sun was welcoming. I'd rather go out and jump around with the very-most humiliating manner. But I behaved well and jumped onto my bicycle after closing the front door. I flied on the streets to his house.
*fast-forward*
Sweaty heads, one by one counted on each of every single one of us on the court. The clouds were uneven. We started murmured among five of us, and later we went to a place where people would most probably shout to the, most preferably known as 'waiters', 'cooks' or... Morning sounds, that interrupting.
Roti tisu, you MUST NOT wipe your oily mouths with tissue as it already was.
***********************************************************************************************************************
Later we guys decided on 'Knowing'; seriously, did I look below thirteen? I gasped and glared with all my might when that typical receptionist looked at me doubtfully.
And, I bought sushi. Not much but it cost severely.
The man teared the tickets and we entered and swaggered along the way into the freezing hall 4. The commercials had ended as we entered. We sat and concentrated in two hours, but some murmurs can't be avoided. I tried best to ignore some un-silent-ed phone calls few paces behind me. The show's ended. Great.
If it were to knock our earth that simple, WHY AM I EXISTING.
Well, every single one of us does exist for a respective reason. We don't get to deny, but mostly we find hard to search for the reason of existence. Of ourselves, we do not especially know, though.
WHY AM I EXISTING? It appeared to be a nonstop repetition lurching forth and back in the very core of my mind without any single sign of halt. If I were back into months ago, maybe I would have the ability to make my existence more valuable, or reasonable. Though time won't rewind. It lures my anger with this very proven statement which irritate my space of thinking all the time I tried so hard, so hard to concentrate, but it always seemed totally useless.
I'd had a prophecy of my own. The inky future forever blinded by thick fog. I do not know where I'm going to.
WHY AM I EXISTING? I could never, never find an arch on the way along with this irritating repetition deep inside my skull. I'd never regain any fluidity to my movement. I was numb by the deadly prophecy and my very presence among thousands, millions and billions of populations on anywhere else on Earth.
WHY AM I EXISTING? I would have been to tired and eventually dizzy. I stumbled on ground. Thousands of deep, severe slashes and cuts turn more vivid than I could have imagined. My organs were burned. I, myself was burned, in flames, even though I still, yet, do not know whether how deep the flame could direct into the degrees of my weak, fragile body.
WHY AM I EXISTING? Even though, even though, all people in this world do not even care whether to look at me with the most awful glance, after all.
WHY AM I EXISTING? I am definitely mad, by right. What am I supposed to do. God, why did You create me. I am no more than a bucket of overfilled sand: as the bucket burst into cracks on its feature, the sand would puncture through the holes, and finally back to the beach, to its origin. Am I supposed to end up in such way too? Every brain cell of mine had insisted so. My contents were absolutely overfilled right now, my skin is just what I'm acting so far, the contents start to spill, eventually, I'd lost everything, in me, or out of me, or whatever it is, it does not make a difference, anymore.
WHY AM I EXISTING? I sigh as the last drop of my contents turn into flashy fluid that evaporate up high. And when I saw them gather, mix, reflect perfectly at the angle where the heavenly light God shows to me as a sign of the very end. I could barely feel my breath that starts to become more, and more, inaudible.
WHY AM I REALLY EXISTING?? I demand an answer for it, even the very single grubby part of myself scatters about the pestilential atmosphere, surrounding my rotting figure second by second.
I don't function anymore. I could not move. I lie helplessly on the smooth ground. It turns to water and hurricane comes by.
I close my eyes. Even the last interval of my inhale and exhale still gasp the way they always did in the past, I am still pretending as if nothing had happened. I could not find anymore feelings that could have been worse than this, ever.
I was flushed down the deep, deep typhoon of hurricanes into every single part of my nerves. The end of world like in 'Knowing', as long as that, I could also direct a movie about, the end of myself, in me.
I could not find any defined answer for that question anymore. Because, I'm not existing anymore, finally accomplished what I've really begging for.
Beneath the deepest part of the ocean, the hurricanes calmed. But I did not resurface. Because my will, my mind had forbidden me to breath anymore.
WHY AM I EXISTING? I don't know. And I don't especially understand what am I.
My eyes closed. My breathing and pulse stopped right by the second I could not realise, at all.
Who knows? God might, I was finally free from the long train of thoughts. Yes, I do exist when another pair of Adam and Eve start another whole new world for me.
First hint of daylight, I woke up furiously. With the engine roared to life and accelerating inside me, I jumped down from my bed and whacked the alarm clocked into a billion pieces. There the mist eventually scattered off.
Without much thought, I bumped against the cupboard and sucked 2 jerseys and a pants out. Hurriedly ever I ran down the stairs five steps in one, I changed my outfits quickest I could. The vitamins invaded my veins as the sunlight poured over me thoroughly. A cup of coffee was too aromatic to be included in my breakfast, and the smell of it simply woke me up to full consciousness.
I washed the cup without looking at it. The sun was welcoming. I'd rather go out and jump around with the very-most humiliating manner. But I behaved well and jumped onto my bicycle after closing the front door. I flied on the streets to his house.
*fast-forward*
Sweaty heads, one by one counted on each of every single one of us on the court. The clouds were uneven. We started murmured among five of us, and later we went to a place where people would most probably shout to the, most preferably known as 'waiters', 'cooks' or... Morning sounds, that interrupting.
Roti tisu, you MUST NOT wipe your oily mouths with tissue as it already was.
***********************************************************************************************************************
Later we guys decided on 'Knowing'; seriously, did I look below thirteen? I gasped and glared with all my might when that typical receptionist looked at me doubtfully.
And, I bought sushi. Not much but it cost severely.
The man teared the tickets and we entered and swaggered along the way into the freezing hall 4. The commercials had ended as we entered. We sat and concentrated in two hours, but some murmurs can't be avoided. I tried best to ignore some un-silent-ed phone calls few paces behind me. The show's ended. Great.
If it were to knock our earth that simple, WHY AM I EXISTING.
Well, every single one of us does exist for a respective reason. We don't get to deny, but mostly we find hard to search for the reason of existence. Of ourselves, we do not especially know, though.
WHY AM I EXISTING? It appeared to be a nonstop repetition lurching forth and back in the very core of my mind without any single sign of halt. If I were back into months ago, maybe I would have the ability to make my existence more valuable, or reasonable. Though time won't rewind. It lures my anger with this very proven statement which irritate my space of thinking all the time I tried so hard, so hard to concentrate, but it always seemed totally useless.
I'd had a prophecy of my own. The inky future forever blinded by thick fog. I do not know where I'm going to.
WHY AM I EXISTING? I could never, never find an arch on the way along with this irritating repetition deep inside my skull. I'd never regain any fluidity to my movement. I was numb by the deadly prophecy and my very presence among thousands, millions and billions of populations on anywhere else on Earth.
WHY AM I EXISTING? I would have been to tired and eventually dizzy. I stumbled on ground. Thousands of deep, severe slashes and cuts turn more vivid than I could have imagined. My organs were burned. I, myself was burned, in flames, even though I still, yet, do not know whether how deep the flame could direct into the degrees of my weak, fragile body.
WHY AM I EXISTING? Even though, even though, all people in this world do not even care whether to look at me with the most awful glance, after all.
WHY AM I EXISTING? I am definitely mad, by right. What am I supposed to do. God, why did You create me. I am no more than a bucket of overfilled sand: as the bucket burst into cracks on its feature, the sand would puncture through the holes, and finally back to the beach, to its origin. Am I supposed to end up in such way too? Every brain cell of mine had insisted so. My contents were absolutely overfilled right now, my skin is just what I'm acting so far, the contents start to spill, eventually, I'd lost everything, in me, or out of me, or whatever it is, it does not make a difference, anymore.
WHY AM I EXISTING? I sigh as the last drop of my contents turn into flashy fluid that evaporate up high. And when I saw them gather, mix, reflect perfectly at the angle where the heavenly light God shows to me as a sign of the very end. I could barely feel my breath that starts to become more, and more, inaudible.
WHY AM I REALLY EXISTING?? I demand an answer for it, even the very single grubby part of myself scatters about the pestilential atmosphere, surrounding my rotting figure second by second.
I don't function anymore. I could not move. I lie helplessly on the smooth ground. It turns to water and hurricane comes by.
I close my eyes. Even the last interval of my inhale and exhale still gasp the way they always did in the past, I am still pretending as if nothing had happened. I could not find anymore feelings that could have been worse than this, ever.
I was flushed down the deep, deep typhoon of hurricanes into every single part of my nerves. The end of world like in 'Knowing', as long as that, I could also direct a movie about, the end of myself, in me.
I could not find any defined answer for that question anymore. Because, I'm not existing anymore, finally accomplished what I've really begging for.
Beneath the deepest part of the ocean, the hurricanes calmed. But I did not resurface. Because my will, my mind had forbidden me to breath anymore.
WHY AM I EXISTING? I don't know. And I don't especially understand what am I.
My eyes closed. My breathing and pulse stopped right by the second I could not realise, at all.
Who knows? God might, I was finally free from the long train of thoughts. Yes, I do exist when another pair of Adam and Eve start another whole new world for me.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
one thousand..
i didn't notice at all until i looked over the chatbox..
and beneath it, something had slightly delighted me... the counter..
it was kinda relief.. 1000 people watched, or, passed by, or, accidentally pressed on the link and let out an angry groan.. i dono who are they, but i bet there are people who did, well, i've not much of energy to laugh, or even, chuckle..
at least, first time ever i switched on the cpu and sat in front of the screen, with numb face, I smiled. Did anyone see me smile delightfully ever before, If YOU did, i bet u are struggling from hysteria right now.. At least, at least, don't get hyperventilating when you had seen the counter filled with 4 digits.. it was not suprising, AT ALL.
and beneath it, something had slightly delighted me... the counter..
it was kinda relief.. 1000 people watched, or, passed by, or, accidentally pressed on the link and let out an angry groan.. i dono who are they, but i bet there are people who did, well, i've not much of energy to laugh, or even, chuckle..
at least, first time ever i switched on the cpu and sat in front of the screen, with numb face, I smiled. Did anyone see me smile delightfully ever before, If YOU did, i bet u are struggling from hysteria right now.. At least, at least, don't get hyperventilating when you had seen the counter filled with 4 digits.. it was not suprising, AT ALL.
blah blah blah!
the air was hot and i'd rather stop breathing...
i've watched the korean movie i had downloaded on the net.. and ok.. funny.. more of it, sarcastic..
I told myself:
Because there ain't no such miracle will happen in love, we can't deny and pretend that we don't know how to spell "r-e-a-l-i-t-y", and when another 5-alphabets-word came and banged into it, and then it eventually completed the puzzle. And that word, "c-r-u-e-l", i forced my eyes closed.
......
*yawn*
p/s: The most-very-best-ever regard(s) to Yee Tin, and, and, and, tears will not evaporate until you see the sun shine. And i promised, the shade will finally over, and ALL of us, would be able to join your laughter, again, soon, really soon. I bet, though.
i've watched the korean movie i had downloaded on the net.. and ok.. funny.. more of it, sarcastic..
I told myself:
Because there ain't no such miracle will happen in love, we can't deny and pretend that we don't know how to spell "r-e-a-l-i-t-y", and when another 5-alphabets-word came and banged into it, and then it eventually completed the puzzle. And that word, "c-r-u-e-l", i forced my eyes closed.
......
*yawn*
p/s: The most-very-best-ever regard(s) to Yee Tin, and, and, and, tears will not evaporate until you see the sun shine. And i promised, the shade will finally over, and ALL of us, would be able to join your laughter, again, soon, really soon. I bet, though.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
april fool.
holy afternoon i was get roared to a flash of instant deafness.
as i "banged" the door behind me, and everything went blank just right in my head as the anger occasionally unleashed.. in me..
i definitely can feel the awful glare few feet behind me where she stood by.
and there the stillness i remained sucked piles of hesitations into my dizzy mind..
It almost killed me; i need a place, where no one could have been,
but, world's too small.
as i "banged" the door behind me, and everything went blank just right in my head as the anger occasionally unleashed.. in me..
i definitely can feel the awful glare few feet behind me where she stood by.
and there the stillness i remained sucked piles of hesitations into my dizzy mind..
It almost killed me; i need a place, where no one could have been,
but, world's too small.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
ugh.
and im telling u right now,
im seriously rotting...
my flesh is rotting..
my blood is evaporating...
my mind is vanishing...
my organs are exploding...
so, don talk to me..
or else im so gonna pull u with me and eventually,
die together.
im seriously rotting...
my flesh is rotting..
my blood is evaporating...
my mind is vanishing...
my organs are exploding...
so, don talk to me..
or else im so gonna pull u with me and eventually,
die together.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
R-A-I-N
and another clumsy day today was..
teachers were too busy setting the tents with the KRS on the field, esp mr. gopal, ramesh and most of all, i reckon u guys to come my skul and search for the great mr. yatim, who had a white adidas sweater and white trackbottom perfectly embellished his thin figure... and my eyes narrowed, being rolled around at all degrees simply by his overwhelming look... =p
and the sky darkened at a flash moment... most students somewhat hoped it will be a heavy downpour so the heats day will be postponed, once more...
and...
BINGO. it rained. and before it did... the prefect annouced so everyone got back to class respectively... and so someone told me something like dis... right on the field...
"mr. chin was definitely a weather forecaster, definitely" he pointed this out with confirmed look.
and.. i couldnt help but stop with a sigh of relief..
darn, how is tomorrow if it rains too, and thursday..
god, my PJ..
teachers were too busy setting the tents with the KRS on the field, esp mr. gopal, ramesh and most of all, i reckon u guys to come my skul and search for the great mr. yatim, who had a white adidas sweater and white trackbottom perfectly embellished his thin figure... and my eyes narrowed, being rolled around at all degrees simply by his overwhelming look... =p
and the sky darkened at a flash moment... most students somewhat hoped it will be a heavy downpour so the heats day will be postponed, once more...
and...
BINGO. it rained. and before it did... the prefect annouced so everyone got back to class respectively... and so someone told me something like dis... right on the field...
"mr. chin was definitely a weather forecaster, definitely" he pointed this out with confirmed look.
and.. i couldnt help but stop with a sigh of relief..
darn, how is tomorrow if it rains too, and thursday..
god, my PJ..
Monday, March 23, 2009
dying of chinese results....
i got the result, and before all my 'comrades' could barely take a slight look on it, I've teared it into million of particles...
it is chinese languange.. and the marks i obtained... so severe that it was totally out of the range where i supposedly belong to.... and my mind went blank and the first sight was thrown..
sigh.. i wonder.. whom did the fault belong to? the no-essay format of the paper? the insanity of the teacher? or, mostly and clearly... mine?
it got even saddened for me to get my add maths result when it reminds me of doing those holiday works till my hand eventually filled with bruises...
and... it eventually cheered me a LITTLE BIT as it reminds me that tmr is goin to be a free day... heats day ya? got free hour.. why not?
it is chinese languange.. and the marks i obtained... so severe that it was totally out of the range where i supposedly belong to.... and my mind went blank and the first sight was thrown..
sigh.. i wonder.. whom did the fault belong to? the no-essay format of the paper? the insanity of the teacher? or, mostly and clearly... mine?
it got even saddened for me to get my add maths result when it reminds me of doing those holiday works till my hand eventually filled with bruises...
and... it eventually cheered me a LITTLE BIT as it reminds me that tmr is goin to be a free day... heats day ya? got free hour.. why not?
Saturday, March 21, 2009
U.K or U.S.A?
just got a little mail about something quite.. err... nice to do while you are too bored..
and U.K. spells Elizabeth as 'Elisabeth' ?? @@
awkward ...
Realize or realise? |
 |
| I have this impression that American orthography started to differ slightly from the British spelling because the emigrants sort of started from a clean table in their writing, and spelling grew closer to pronunciation. Americans write 'realize', 'organize', 'Elizabeth', while Brits write 'realise', 'organise', 'Elisabeth': when said aloud, the words have a voiced sibilant, hence the ’z’ instead of ’s’. Also vice versa. The clearly sounding ’r’ in American pronunciation in words like ’word’, ’bird’, ’are’, should, according to my knowledge, derive from the same liaison between speaking and writing: because it is written, it can also be heard. The audible ’r’ is a kind of relic that has worn off from the British pronunciation. Is this so? |
awkward ...
so sick
jus got a new book from popular 2 days ago.. twilight stephenie meyer
and it was like... supehhh idiotic while reading it sambil doin some real big business in toilet... ewhh.. this book is (?!) about a stupid vampire fell in love with a stupid ordinary girl and i somehow reckon myself to read it b4 sleeping..... at least 1 chapter lar.. if not my mom so gonna *vulgar* me that i waste her $$ jus to , i mean embellishing the house with that pretty book cover instead of reading it like a WORM.....
the stupid tuition was damn sick.... borinnnn la... 2 hours long with an old man.. i mean, an old artist from hollywood... retired. RM105 with him... research writing... crap lar.... and so many books.... esp... quizes... wtheck. he gives that many quiz and yet still dare to act in front of us.... *take 1*
*good take*
school so gonna reopen in few hours time... and we so gonna face intervensi 2.. and most of all... our ujian selaras result.. stop mumbling about add maths =p and.. and.. and... partially, our intervensi 1 results were not fully out yet...
beyond the distant clear and blue sky.. I somewhat could foresee the black, ugly, evil hell right in front of me yet i still continue my life in this miserable, desperate way... what lar. = = crap like an idiot...
im sick of school life.... examsss..
and it was like... supehhh idiotic while reading it sambil doin some real big business in toilet... ewhh.. this book is (?!) about a stupid vampire fell in love with a stupid ordinary girl and i somehow reckon myself to read it b4 sleeping..... at least 1 chapter lar.. if not my mom so gonna *vulgar* me that i waste her $$ jus to , i mean embellishing the house with that pretty book cover instead of reading it like a WORM.....
the stupid tuition was damn sick.... borinnnn la... 2 hours long with an old man.. i mean, an old artist from hollywood... retired. RM105 with him... research writing... crap lar.... and so many books.... esp... quizes... wtheck. he gives that many quiz and yet still dare to act in front of us.... *take 1*
*good take*
school so gonna reopen in few hours time... and we so gonna face intervensi 2.. and most of all... our ujian selaras result.. stop mumbling about add maths =p and.. and.. and... partially, our intervensi 1 results were not fully out yet...
beyond the distant clear and blue sky.. I somewhat could foresee the black, ugly, evil hell right in front of me yet i still continue my life in this miserable, desperate way... what lar. = = crap like an idiot...
im sick of school life.... examsss..
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
barry & stuart
and here it is... been a LONG time that i left my blog away...
sry ya xD
and i went to the Barry & Stuart comedian-magician show at KL Pacs at saturday... and dai lou kian pooi just gave me some pics... too bad just a little.. and fine..
kian pooi... *u inspire me to write a song* (from you-know-who-the-foreign-little-girl) insane man!! *huh?! i don get it.. im goin up* *slap*
wake up la dai lou...
=.="
and fine.. we watched the show
it was like so funny, so entertaining.. the 2 magicians were so cool, funny !! they rox!! bowling ball came up all of a sudden... supermario... hahaxD
and these are a little pics... since we were not allowed to bring camera.. and phone was the onli thing we could use.. and STRICTLY NO photographs during show... darn..
enjoy... thx kian pooi... bharathi is so gonna freak u during the next class after skul reopens.. hehexD
kian pooi dai lou, 8wah.... *8wah wtheck u're laughing??*
me, dailou, 8wah, shin
*gentlemen.............................lol xD*
jiayang, dailou
*hey jiayang... whr are u pointing at?? could it be.... ouch.... don hit me... xD*
dailou, me, mun chong, bear, shin
*sad... and they forced me to smile!! bear.. stop showing ur teeth, and, shin... y the heck are u showing that silly face harh?!?!* xD
8wah, me, bear, dailou
*err... i wonder whr was 8wah's neck xD, drink more milk la.. and stupid shin took this photo.. kinda artistic, ya? indeed, we're all in an art exhibition centre lol *
*stand* sean, jonathan, mun chong, me, shin, shi hao, bear, kok man, julian, seck wei
*squat* 8wah, tong lai(down), jan jhin(top), yousheng a.k.a sifu, kin joe, jiayang, boeY
*we're a big big family, though its small... darn.. tong lai stop acting cool okay? hahaxD*
shin, me
*and who the heck suggested that we took that stupid female toilet as the background?! duh!!*
8wah, dailou
*romantic ya?? so many loveS behind... and 8wah.. pls la.. stop that FAKE smile.. *
"ghost shadow", dailou and me
*where the hell are u pointing at? and can u guys feel my height?! im ON TOP of the tower!! xD*
*the shadow was kinda scary, wasn't it?*xD
dailou and me (once more)
*shin i warn u... stop being artistic...*
dailou and me (once more again)
sry ya xD
and i went to the Barry & Stuart comedian-magician show at KL Pacs at saturday... and dai lou kian pooi just gave me some pics... too bad just a little.. and fine..
kian pooi... *u inspire me to write a song* (from you-know-who-the-foreign-little-girl) insane man!! *huh?! i don get it.. im goin up* *slap*
wake up la dai lou...
=.="
and fine.. we watched the show
it was like so funny, so entertaining.. the 2 magicians were so cool, funny !! they rox!! bowling ball came up all of a sudden... supermario... hahaxD
and these are a little pics... since we were not allowed to bring camera.. and phone was the onli thing we could use.. and STRICTLY NO photographs during show... darn..
enjoy... thx kian pooi... bharathi is so gonna freak u during the next class after skul reopens.. hehexD
kian pooi dai lou, 8wah.... *8wah wtheck u're laughing??*
me, dailou, 8wah, shin*gentlemen.............................lol xD*
jiayang, dailou *hey jiayang... whr are u pointing at?? could it be.... ouch.... don hit me... xD*
dailou, me, mun chong, bear, shin*sad... and they forced me to smile!! bear.. stop showing ur teeth, and, shin... y the heck are u showing that silly face harh?!?!* xD
8wah, me, bear, dailou*err... i wonder whr was 8wah's neck xD, drink more milk la.. and stupid shin took this photo.. kinda artistic, ya? indeed, we're all in an art exhibition centre lol *
*stand* sean, jonathan, mun chong, me, shin, shi hao, bear, kok man, julian, seck wei*squat* 8wah, tong lai(down), jan jhin(top), yousheng a.k.a sifu, kin joe, jiayang, boeY
*we're a big big family, though its small... darn.. tong lai stop acting cool okay? hahaxD*
shin, me*and who the heck suggested that we took that stupid female toilet as the background?! duh!!*
8wah, dailou
*romantic ya?? so many loveS behind... and 8wah.. pls la.. stop that FAKE smile.. *
"ghost shadow", dailou and me*where the hell are u pointing at? and can u guys feel my height?! im ON TOP of the tower!! xD*
*the shadow was kinda scary, wasn't it?*xD
dailou and me (once more)*shin i warn u... stop being artistic...*
dailou and me (once more again)*stop forcing me into the pic, it eventually spoils ur image...
coz..
COZ IM HERE!!*
hot isn't it?? xD
coz..
COZ IM HERE!!*
hot isn't it?? xD
Monday, March 9, 2009
EL
there again, the literature in english.. but anyway, lets see if i can have enough time for it, or not.
i will conquer it, definitely.
hope its not a joke, at least, a serious joke.
anything la.
i will conquer it, definitely.
hope its not a joke, at least, a serious joke.
anything la.
Friday, March 6, 2009
watashiwa...
6th March 2009....
the same date in 17 years ago... *flashback*
*baby cries*
--the conversation between the doctor and the daddy in hospital--
doctor: D Daddy: d
D: *shook his head*
d: *looked shock*
D: sir, im sorry...
d: what?! how was my wife????!
D: she's okay, just fine, but... but--
d: but what?! tell !!! tell lar u ^!#%!^#!!
D: the product...
d: what product?!
D: after that night when u're having sports with her....
d: then?! what was the product?!
D: please prepare... mentally.. u so gonna faint right on this spot after u hear it..
d: *hold breath* ok.. ok.. tell me... slowly.. not too direct..
D: ok. erm...
d: erm what lar?! not so indirect la stupid!!
D: *sigh*
d: what shape?!
D: erm--
d: apple? guava? durian?
D: no.
d: water bottle? tupperware?
D: *shook his head*
d: what larh?! animal a?!
D: quite so..
d: dog? cat?
D: *shook again*
d: lion? whale? elephant?!
D: *again*
d: bird? dinosaur? lizard? cockroach??!!
D: no la... jus...
d: jus what?!
D: err....
d: err what?! bear a?!??!?!??! BEAR???!!??!!
D: *stare blankly*
d: *hysteria*
D: *try his best to NOD*
--THE END---
enuf crapping these shits for now... and, by the way,
YAP CHUIN CHI!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
OTAKU OTAKU!!
watashiwa, e-sis-to-sis... (how to spell a?? =.='')
p/s: best regards from: (your family member)
and, this picture is strictly prohibited for children and people under 18 years old to see, touch or eat... xD
the same date in 17 years ago... *flashback*
*baby cries*
--the conversation between the doctor and the daddy in hospital--
doctor: D Daddy: d
D: *shook his head*
d: *looked shock*
D: sir, im sorry...
d: what?! how was my wife????!
D: she's okay, just fine, but... but--
d: but what?! tell !!! tell lar u ^!#%!^#!!
D: the product...
d: what product?!
D: after that night when u're having sports with her....
d: then?! what was the product?!
D: please prepare... mentally.. u so gonna faint right on this spot after u hear it..
d: *hold breath* ok.. ok.. tell me... slowly.. not too direct..
D: ok. erm...
d: erm what lar?! not so indirect la stupid!!
D: *sigh*
d: what shape?!
D: erm--
d: apple? guava? durian?
D: no.
d: water bottle? tupperware?
D: *shook his head*
d: what larh?! animal a?!
D: quite so..
d: dog? cat?
D: *shook again*
d: lion? whale? elephant?!
D: *again*
d: bird? dinosaur? lizard? cockroach??!!
D: no la... jus...
d: jus what?!
D: err....
d: err what?! bear a?!??!?!??! BEAR???!!??!!
D: *stare blankly*
d: *hysteria*
D: *try his best to NOD*
--THE END---
enuf crapping these shits for now... and, by the way,
YAP CHUIN CHI!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
OTAKU OTAKU!!
watashiwa, e-sis-to-sis... (how to spell a?? =.='')
p/s: best regards from: (your family member)
and, this picture is strictly prohibited for children and people under 18 years old to see, touch or eat... xD
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
chemistry
i went tuition at 4.30 till 6 today. chemistry.
and the tutor wanted us to prepare alcohol based on form 5 chapter 2 : Carbon Compound..
to prepare alcohol, u will need:
-anything that contains glucose (preferably sweet fruits, rice, etc.)
-yeast
and that's what produces alcohol - one of the homologous series of hydrocarbons.
and, and, and,
alcohol substances are organic, and most importantly,
FLAMMABLE.
Dear flammable mummy,
precautions to mummy,
DO NOT EVER EVER EVER, EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GO PETROL STATION IF YOU DON'T WANT EVERYBODY TO HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURN!!
I MEAN IT!! SERIOUSLY......
and to those who wish to refill your cars' petrol, please KINDLY, i beg u... go and refill your cars when mummy's sleeping, or eating, etc.
xD
p/s: mummy~~ happy birthday ya~~ be mature since u're 17 already... muacksss :D
best regards from 6AC, mostly ME.
and seriously, do not go petrol station.
coz u're flammable. and i guess u are unable to eat ur cake, coz u burn everything. the candle and the creams and... oopss.. not too much creams ya? for fitness's sake (that's why i am ur coach too !!). xD
love u~!! u deserve a big hug from sandra and i~ *HUG*~
and the tutor wanted us to prepare alcohol based on form 5 chapter 2 : Carbon Compound..
to prepare alcohol, u will need:
-anything that contains glucose (preferably sweet fruits, rice, etc.)
-yeast
and that's what produces alcohol - one of the homologous series of hydrocarbons.
and, and, and,
alcohol substances are organic, and most importantly,
FLAMMABLE.
Dear flammable mummy,
wish your dreams come true,
wish you pass SPM with flying and burning colors,
wish you all the best in ur last year of school (probably),
wish you and all ur frens and family a wonderful life,
And, whatever it is,
ur son is here,
i mean,
HOT son,
and ur HOT daughter,
sandWa too..
oops, spelled wrong =p don angry ya sandRa...
and,
lastly,
finally,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! =D
wish you pass SPM with flying and burning colors,
wish you all the best in ur last year of school (probably),
wish you and all ur frens and family a wonderful life,
And, whatever it is,
ur son is here,
i mean,
HOT son,
and ur HOT daughter,
sandWa too..
oops, spelled wrong =p don angry ya sandRa...
and,
lastly,
finally,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! =D
precautions of experiment:
1. DO NOT burn the solution.
2. DO NOT burn the solution.
3. DO NOT burn the solution.
4. DO NOT burn the solution.
5. DO NOT burn the solution.
1. DO NOT burn the solution.
2. DO NOT burn the solution.
3. DO NOT burn the solution.
4. DO NOT burn the solution.
5. DO NOT burn the solution.
precautions to mummy,
DO NOT EVER EVER EVER, EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GO PETROL STATION IF YOU DON'T WANT EVERYBODY TO HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURN!!
I MEAN IT!! SERIOUSLY......
and to those who wish to refill your cars' petrol, please KINDLY, i beg u... go and refill your cars when mummy's sleeping, or eating, etc.
xD
p/s: mummy~~ happy birthday ya~~ be mature since u're 17 already... muacksss :D
best regards from 6AC, mostly ME.
and seriously, do not go petrol station.
coz u're flammable. and i guess u are unable to eat ur cake, coz u burn everything. the candle and the creams and... oopss.. not too much creams ya? for fitness's sake (that's why i am ur coach too !!). xD
love u~!! u deserve a big hug from sandra and i~ *HUG*~
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